I and Love and You
by Holiday Latte
Summary: Picks up in the heart of season 2 exploring the forbidden relationship of Lux and Eric.  Can the two of them find a way to be together?
1. The Heart Of The Matter

_Why should I even care about going to your stupid tutoring!_

_Maybe because it's the only way I can spend time with you without it being wrong!_

Lux woke up to the sound of clattering pans down in the kitchen. Immediately he entered her thoughts. _Maybe he does care_. She couldn't ignore the fluttering rush of her heart when she thought about him. _But if he said all of that…why did he leave me with another tutor? _ That was what confused her the most.

As Lux opened her closet to look for something to wear, she still didn't understand. Why would he break up with Paige and then just disappear? Lux had asked Math, but Math wouldn't say. He had brushed her off and said something about Mr. Daniels taking personal leave. He didn't know if or when he'd be back. And if he did, he didn't say.

As Lux sifted through her clothes, she frowned. He wouldn't be at school today. Who knows if he'd ever return? Just another person to up and leave her. Gotta love those abandonment issues. Suddenly, her chest felt heavy and all she wanted was to crawl back into her bed.

"Lux! C'mon, we've gotta get moving! Baze is gonna be here any minute!" Cate called from the bottom of the attic stairs. Sighing softly, Lux just threw on a pair of sweats and an old Pogues t-shirt with the frayed hem. She didn't care what she looked like. She could be wearing a burlap sack and still not care. There was no reason to put on a tight dress that showed every curve. There was no one to wear it for.

"Lux, you okay?" Cate asked as Lux came downstairs. Lux nodded.

"I'm fine, what's for breakfast?" Cate didn't accept Lux's response but before she could say anything, the honk of Baze's horn broke her train of thought. Lux spotted a bagel and quickly snatched it up as she ran out of the house.

"Have a good…" But Lux was already halfway to the car before she could finish.

"Morning, child of mine," Baze greeted, opening Lux's door. Lux gave him a small smile and slumped into the seat. "What's wrong kiddo?" Lux just shrugged her shoulders. _What's wrong? What isn't wrong?_.

The ride to school seemed to go far to fast. She considered asking Baze if they could go do something else, but now that he had the 9-5 lifestyle it seemed pointless. When they arrived she just smiled at Baze and headed towards the quad. Just before entering, she stopped. She knew how easy it would be to just not go in. Lux hated admitting defeat and feeling helpless, so when the tears threatened to fall, she didn't know what to do. Cate and Baze would kill her if she missed any more of her classes. She was still in danger of failing out after all. But it was hard to breathe. And she was so damn sad. She missed him. She hated the vulnerability of liking someone this much. It wasn't a question anymore of whether or not she wanted to skip her classes; it was that she needed to in order to not make a fool of herself.

Quickly, when no one was looking she hurried around the side of the building and headed away from school. Achieving a mildly safe distance from the school, she pulled out her iPod and put in her ear buds. Tuning out the world seemed to be the safest decision of the day. But she knew she had to go back. She couldn't afford to miss any more material. It would be worse if she didn't go. That was another thing she disliked. Having a conscious. But she knew everyone would worry. She'd never hear the end of it. She had to pull herself together before she could go back. So she plopped herself down on the curb of the sidewalk in an attempt to ground herself back to reality and get out of her vortex of a head. It was a quiet street and she could hear the school bell in the distance.

She buried her face in her hands and leaned forward closing her eyes. _Just breathe Lux_. I_t's not as bad as you think. You still have you._ But for the first time, Lux wasn't sure that was enough. Her eyes felt itchy, but she forced herself to hold back the tears. She was completely out of control. She pushed the palms of her hands into the sidewalk trying to bring her mind back down to earth. She was focusing so intently that at first she didn't notice the presence sitting next to her.

"Are you okay Lux?" A quiet voice asked. When he didn't receive an answer he gently pulled the ear bud out of her right ear and asked again.

"Eric? I thought you were…" Lux quickly pulled out the other ear bud and looked at him incredulously. A wave of emotions washed over her. How she had yelled at him. How crappy she looked today. How she felt so sad, and how amazing his lips felt against hers that night that seemed like a lifetime ago. But he was here. Sitting next to her.

"Don't you have class?"

"Does it matter?" He voice was slightly harsh and she instantly regretted it. But she was embarrassed. Just some loser child with a learning disability. She would never register on his radar again. And it didn't matter. Because he left. He just…left.

"Of course it matters, Lux. You…matter," he said sincerely. He couldn't believe someone as beautiful as her would think like that.

_Then why did you leave me? _She wanted to ask. She wanted answers. But they weren't question she felt she could ask. She twirled the ear buds around her finger with quiet concentration.

"Why did you break up with Paige?" Lux asked softly. Her ears started throbbing, anticipating an answer she wouldn't be able to handle. _He found someone else. He's moving back to Minnesota. He needed to get away from me_.

"Paige…wasn't…."

"Forget I asked," Lux stood abruptly, no longer wanting an answer. "Actually, you know what? Just forget. Me, that night, us…let's just forget. We felt what we felt. It was great but it was fleeting. Let's just leave it at that."

"Lux," Eric stood and reached for her hand.

"No," She pulled her hand away. Her eyes were bleary. She squinted trying to fight the tears back. _Just keep it together_. "We'll just forget," she avoided his gaze and stared at the sidewalk beneath her. She felt a warm drop against her cheek. She started walking away, not wanting to be humiliated any further. She wiped her face with her hand hastily trying to erase her stupid tears. "Loser freak with the learning disability goes back into isolation," she muttered under her breath.

"Hey!" She felt a hand grab hers. He dragged her over behind a large Weeping Willow, away from the street. Away from people and their prying eyes. "Don't ever think that about yourself!" He surprised her with the anger in his eyes, until he saw that she was crying. Immediately his anger was extinguished and he wiped away her tears with his thumb. This just caused her to cry more.

"Damn it. Just…I don't want you to see me like this," she pleaded, trying to turn away. He would let go of her wrist.

"I broke it off with Paige because she wasn't the one I wanted to be with. I thought you'd be happy."

Lux remembered going to tutoring and discovering he was gone. Knowing she had successfully manage to drive away another person in her life.

"Do I look happy, Eric?" Lux asked. She pulled her hand away and crossed her arms.

"I know we can't be together. But that doesn't change the fact that I care about you. I want to help you. I want to continue to get to know you."

Lux was so angry she could spit.

"You're such a liar!" Eric blanched at her harsh outburst. "You don't care at all! If you did, you wouldn't have…"

"Lux, what? I wouldn't have what?" Eric stepped into her space and uncrossed her arms.

"You wouldn't have left me! I showed up the next morning and you weren't there!"

Eric suddenly realized his mistake. He pulled Lux into his arms. How could he have been so stupid? He knew about Lux's past.

"Everyone always leaves," she whispered, leaning into his shoulder slightly.

There it is, Lux thought, that whole vulnerability thing. She didn't like it. She stood there a moment longer forcing away her tears when she distinctly heard him breathe deeply against her.

They stood only inches from each other. The invisible sparks literally sizzled between them. She gazed up into his eyes wondering what he was thinking.

"You need to get to class," he whispered, trying to control himself in her presence.

The moment was over. Lux sighed. For a few seconds she was able to forget. It was easy to be angry with him for what he did when she wasn't standing next to him. But he did leave her, even if only briefly. And it hurt. The thing she never got over no matter how many therapists she had seen or would see...it still never fails to hurt. She turned to walk away but he still had a firm hold on her hand. "Lux, I...I just want you to know...I'm sorry." Lux nodded and he released her hand gently.

"You know, you could always kiss me and make it better," She said grinning towards him.

"Get to class," he laughed lightly, but Lux noticed the darkness in his eyes. Somehow she didn't think they'd be kissing anytime soon.

As she walked back to campus, she realized that nothing had been resolved. She still didn't know how he felt about her, if he felt anything for her. Where they stood, why he left...somehow nothing had managed to clear itself up. But, she did feel slightly better. It didn't erase the hurt, but she knew that would take time.

The next morning Lux awoke with a soft smile on her face. Because things were definitely better than yesterday. She had tutoring this morning and couldn't wait to get to school. Hopping out of bed she headed towards he closet and pulled the dress she had chosen the night before off the hanger. It was a yellow dress with a sweetheart neckline. Looking in the mirror, she wondered if it made her look too golden..or too sunshiney...was sunshiney even a word? Shrugging she picked out a sweater and then brushed her hair.

When Baze pulled up to the driveway, Lux was already waiting impatiently by the street tapping her foot.

"Hey kiddo, who's the dress for?" Baze vaguely remembered the fluctuating emotions of teenage girls so when Lux didn't respond, he didn't think anything of it. Baze dropped her off at school and it was all Lux could do not to run into the building. _Seriously, calm the hell down. _Lux took a breath and deliberately walked slower to the classroom. Her smile deflated when she stepped into the room.

"Good morning, Lux," a female voice greeted her.

Lux stood staring for a moment.

"Um, wait...isn't Mr. Daniels back? I thought he'd be tutoring me again." The teacher shook her head.

"Did you do the assigned reading for today?" Lux's heart dropped as she pulled out her notebook. As she sat down and opened her book, the anger was once more ignited. She was stupid to open up to him. _Rejection, thy name is Lux, _she thought sadly to herself.


	2. Run, Just As Fast As You Can

Lux despised tutoring. It was almost bearable when Eric was her tutor, but even then...who loves spending an hour being reminded of how dumb they are? Every chapter and every question, it's just a constant punch in the face that it will always be hard for her. It was now that she dreaded Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

"Lux, please pay attention. Let's try question four again," her tutor reprimanded while Lux gazed outside. _Question four? _She couldn't even remember question 1, 2, or 3 for that matter.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just foggy. Early on a Monday and such," Lux said, redirecting her attention to the work in front of her. Her tutor pointed to the the question and took another sip of coffee. They spent another half hour working through some of the more important quotes of _Pride and Prejudice. _

"Lux, I know this is difficult, but it's going to be essential to passing your English class. It's going to take more time I know, because the language is older and more confusing."

Lux wanted to scream. Is this what everyone thought of her? She understood the words just fine. She could read the language and understand exactly what they were saying. It was the way the questions were worded that confused her. She just wasn't able to connect the two pieces together. _I blame it on lazy synapses, _she smiled to herself.

Finally the clock creeped closer to 8 am. Lux never thought she'd be happy to go to actual class. Having all this one on one tutoring was unnerving. At least when _Mr. Daniels _was tutoring her, she had someone who more or less understood her. More than the teacher working with her now. She was only mildly aware that she was tapping her pencil incessantly on the desk. Subconsciously or maybe consciously she was trying to drive her tutor insane.

"Alright Lux, you can go." As Lux quickly packed her bag she was reminded not to be late for their Wednesday session.

"I can't wait...I'm quite literally _dying _of anticipation." _Ok so maybe that was a bit harsh_, she thought as she trudged down the hall to her first class. There seemed to be a lot more harshness in her words these days. It was something she decided that she would have to work on...at some point in the future. She barely noticed Eric heading her way. But she did notice. Because no matter how preoccupied she was with the inner workings of her brain as soon as _he _came into sight, nothing else really mattered. He smiled at her. It wasn't a smile she ever saw him give others. Not even Paige. Just a half smile that was more in the eyes than in the mouth. _In his lips_. And she wished it made her feel special. Because she was falling for that sheepish mouth of his.

_Lux, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. _She couldn't help but grin widely at her own thoughts. Damn Baze and his childish need to watch theatrical trailers on YouTube.

"What's so funny?" Eric had stopped in front of her. She gave him a questioning look. "Your smile. What's the cause?" He clarified, adjusting his shoulder bag. Everyone in the school seemed to fade into the background. She pondered his hair for a brief second. Because it was just so damn messy perfect. It would take her an hour to achieve such a nonchalant hairstyle. And she was kind of dying to know if he just rolled out of bed that way or...actually what she really wanted to know is why she was still stuck with tutor-bitch. Why he didn't want to tutor her anymore. Seemed like a fairly easy question to ask. But nothing between them was in anyway easy.

"The cause isn't important _Mr. Daniels. _It's more about the effect." She was pleased with the neutral tone she achieved.

"I don't know, I'm pretty interested in the cause," he said smiling. _Why Mr. Daniels, are you flirting with me? If I wasn't so damned angry with you, I might be enjoying the slight banter. _Lux didn't want to be cruel. She didn't want to be angry. A wiser person would have been up front with him. Maybe she was blowing everything out of proportion. The feelings of anger were impossible to shake though.

She looked up at him, trying to gauge things. _Damn smile_. The real world started to creep back in. The sounds of everyone around them seemed louder now. It would never be just the two of them. He really meant it when he said they couldn't be together.

" I was just thinking of something I saw online with Baze the other night," Lux said distantly, before she continued on to her next class.

"Lux?" Eric called after her. But Lux wasn't stopping. She quickly detoured to the bathroom. The mirror told no lies. She looked at her reflection for a moment before splashing water on her face. The tension between the two of them was becoming unbearable. He already said they couldn't be together. Why it had taken her this long to actually process it, she had no clue. But now it hit her. Now it bitch slapped her in the face. He would always be nice towards her. Flirtatious even. But that would most likely be it.

She stared back into the mirror as the water droplets dripped off her skin. Sooner rather than later, he would find another Paige. _God, this sucks._ She patted her face dry with a paper towel and forged on to her next class.

The day passed her by and it was pretty uneventful. Lux did her best not to be consumed by the thoughts that seemed to lurk around every corner. When the day ended, she was beyond grateful.

Wednesday tutoring, if possible was worse than Monday. And Lux had already adjusted to the early hour of the session.

"Lux, I mean honestly. It's not that hard. Take the quote and analyze it for me. You keep telling me what it means but I want more than that. Themes, motifs, syntax. Don't just translate. I just don't understand why you aren't taking this seriously."

_Watch it bitch. _

"I am," Lux responded in disbelief.

The tutor shook her head and rolled her eyes slightly.

"Then pay attention, okay?" Lux simply nodded, feeling horrible. Was she really this stupid? She opened Pride and Prejudice to the marked page and read it yet again.

_Which do you mean?" and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, "She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me." _

The school bell rang in the distance.

"Lucky for you Lux. Have this analyzed and written up by Friday, alright?" Lux nodded and walked somberly out of the classroom. It wasn't until she spotted Tasha that her mood brightened slightly.

"What's got you down, girl?" Tasha asked pulling books out of her locker.

"Stupid tutoring. Isn't it supposed to make you better? I mean isn't the idea to somehow make you smarter, therefore making life slightly easier for you and classes easier to get through?" Tasha closed the locker door and put on her backpack.

"I mean it's sound reasoning. Why? Don't you feel smarter?" Tasha draped an arm around Lux and squeezed slightly. "It'll get better. Promise," she smirked. Lux managed to smile back. It was good having Tasha back. "Hey, do you have plans after school?"

"Baze is picking me up. He didn't say what we were doing though. You wanna join?" Tasha shook her head.

"I was just going to hit up the library with Jones. I'm still playing catch-up. But you know, it'll be good for you to take a break from studying. It kind of been the theme of your life this week. Is that why you've been so down? Are you still afraid of failing out?" Tasha asked concerned.

That was the other thing. She couldn't even tell Tasha. She couldn't tell anyone. As soon as one person knew what she was feeling and who she was feeling it for...it would all go to hell.

"Yeah. Just stressed about school."

Just before her last class let out, Lux got a text from Baze.

_Hey kiddo, major stock market crisis. Working late-already called Cate. She'll pick you up. I'll make __it up to you soon._

Cate could easily see that Lux was upset.

"Do you wanna grab some food?" Cate asked trying to cheer her up. Lux just shook her head. "Ice cream?" Lux shook her head again and got into the SUV. "A wad of cash?" Cate said trying to lighten the mood.

"Can we just go home? I'm tired." Cate reached out to stroke Lux's hair.

"Of course we can." Cate was starting to worry. It had been over a week now that Lux's mood had been so somber. At first she was sure it was school and the recent tests. But now she was concerned it had to do with something else. _Someone _else. Possibly Bug, but she didn't think so.

When they arrived home Lux dropped her bag down by the front door and headed straight to her room.

"I'll be up in a bit with something to eat, okay Lux?" No answer. Cate tried to think what a good mother would do in this situation. Her own mom would have shoved food in her face. So she thought it might not be the best idea to do that. She headed up to Lux's room. "Sweetie, you okay?"

Lux lay on her bed with a glazed blank expression. "Just talk to me. I'm here." She sat down next to her sad lump of a daughter and waited. Lux didn't know what to say. She was upset about so much. Most of it being Eric. Some of it being school.

"What do you do when..."

"When what?" Cate gently urged Lux to continue.

"How do you get over someone? How do you move on?" Her stomach curled in on itself as she said those words out loud. Cate thought for a moment.

"Well, I suppose it's dependent on the situation, you know? Sometimes space is the most important thing to moving on."

"That's what I thought," Lux replied miserably. She knew there could only be so much space between them. More than she wanted anyway.

"But Lux, sometimes we only think something can't or won't work. That doesn't mean we're right. Look at all the obstacles Ryan and I have overcome. I mean I know you're only in high school so I'm praying your hurdles aren't like mine and Ryan's, but I'm almost sure they can be crossed. Just take it easy," Cate advised, giving her a hug. "Give yourself a break."

Lux sat up and leaned against the headboard of her bed and closed her eyes. _Take it slow. Focus on other things. _It made sense. She seemed to remember reading or hearing that if you just let something go and stop obsessing about it, sometimes it comes back. _Kind of sounds like a carrier pigeon though, _Lux thought grimly.

"Cate, what if it's someone else who won't try to overcome the obstacle. What do you do then?" Things were becoming clearer to Cate. She smiled.

"Then you don't give him a reason not too. You just be the best version of you that you can possibly be and wait for him to fall in love with you." Lux could never imagine Eric being in love with her. Sure, they had a connection, but love? "Then he'll be able to leap over all the hurdles with ease," Cate gave Lux another quick hug and told her to rest for a while. Lux couldn't resist a small smirk knowing that Cate had practically told her how to get her teacher to fall in love with her.

Lux rested her head on a pillow, but found that she couldn't rest. Her mind was buzzing with all of this motherly advice. Her brain was more congested than ever. A few minutes later she eyed her sneakers in the corner of the room and decided to go for a jog. She pulled on a pair of purple knee high socks, a pair of black shorts, and Baze's old Mr. Magoo T-shirt.

"I'm going for a run, be back in a couple of hours!" Lux yelled to whoever was in the house as she flew out the front door. The original plan was to head towards the bar, but she realized Baze wouldn't be home as he was working late. Mckinley park was a good place and not too far so she headed in that direction.

As the wind whipped by her face, and the ground hummed beneath her, she realized how much of a stress reliever this sport was. Things were feeling clearer already. Suddenly, everything seemed possible...or at least slightly more manageable. She pushed herself harder to go faster. She breezed through the park with ease. _Not so many people today, _she thought to herself offhand. She kept going. Her tongue was dry. She realized she should have brought water. Suddenly she knew she had to push herself to the limit if she was ever going to release this pent up anger. Changing the song on her iPod, she started off. As she picked up the pace, she realized that it was getting colder. Probably why there were less people out. The sun was slowly fading in the distance, but she still had plenty of time. With each stride her heart beat faster. _No one loves you. Everyone leaves. Stupid. Useless. Waste of space. Foster Freak. _Thoughts that somehow usually had a hold on her were cast away. They were wrapped in the wind and blown in an opposite direction, making room for new thoughts in Lux's head.

_Courage. Determination. Heart. Love. Ability. _Lux didn't know what to make of these words that sprang to her mind, but she went with them as she forced herself to move faster. To the limit. Her chest felt a bit tight, but she kept going. Now the trees were just a blur as she zoomed past them. The song on her iPod suddenly changed. Something way too slow. Not wanting to lose all of her momentum, she forced herself to keep running as she looked down for a new song.

"Whoa!"

Lux looked up as she crashed into a person in front of her.

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry," she yelped losing her grip on the iPod. Fortunately he caught it.

"Lux?" It was Eric. Of course it was. Because this is the world's giant joke. Eric handed her iPod back. "Are you that pissed that you want to cause me physical harm?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. She looked at him. From the outfit he was wearing she could tell that he was running as well.

"No, I mean...I wasn't looking," Lux fumbled over her words. Her heart was thumping like the energizer bunny. She had pushed herself too far. "I'm sorry, it was an accident," she mumbled, jogging away at a slow speed. She went to put her ear buds back in, but she felt light headed and dizzy. _Please don't still be behind me. Please God, just let him have run in the opposite direction, _she silently prayed knowing that if she didn't sit down soon, she'd fall down. She should have known better she thought bitterly. She hadn't been running in a month. She shouldn't have expected to just pick up at the same pace. There was a bench in the somewhat near distance. Lux slowed her pace to a walk. She was determined to make it. She gripped her iPod firmly and kept walking. _Just need a quick rest and I'll be fine. _However, as she thought that, the trees seemed to be moving faster. Dancing wildly around her was a better term. She wished she had brought a jacket. As she sank to the grass next to the path, she also regretted forgoing lunch earlier that day.

"Lux!" She heard footsteps coming closer. _Go away. Please. _He kneeled down in front of her.

"M'fine," Lux stated weakly. She felt him pull her up. "No, don't." He reached to pick her up.

"Don't what, Lux?" He asked gingerly picking up her small frame. He started walking towards the bench.

"Don't pick me up. Put me down. I'm not some fairytale princess." He kept walking. "Put me down!" She knew she was probably dripping sweat. She didn't need to be carried. He gently put her down, but never released his grip. "I can make it," she said quietly. She let him support her as they finally found the wooden bench. As they both sat down, she more or less collapsed against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

After a minute or so, as she regained some of her strength she realized what she was leaning against and apologized, switching positions.

"No apology needed," he answered handing her his water bottle. "Water?" he asked. She took it gratefully.

"Water...the essence of wetness," she grinned with effort and drank thirstily. He stared at her for a moment and burst into laughter. "What?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing," he said pulling off his University of Minnesota sweatshirt, " I just didn't know you were a Zoolander fan." She handed him back his water bottle.

"Well, it's just that there's a lot more to life than being really good looking...and I'm glad he was able to figure that out." Eric looked at her and Lux swore it was the same look he gave her at the billboard.

"Here," he said giving Lux his sweatshirt, "take it, I don't like it when you shiver," he said sincerely.

"I'm really not that cold," she lied. It wasn't that she didn't want to take his sweatshirt. Because she really did. She really did want too. He pushed it towards her no taking no for an answer. He watched as she pulled it on over her head. It smelled like him. And her heart started beating faster in a different way. It was too big for her in all the right ways. She pulled her knees up to her chest and used the sweatshirt to cover her.

"Come here," he said softly, pulling her into his embrace. She leaned into his chest and let him wrap his arms around her. Her ear rested against his chest and she listened carefully to the steady thump of his heart. "You ran yourself pretty ragged," he remarked after a few minutes of silence. "You...scared me."

"Just trying to clear my head. It's been a tough week, I guess." He reached over and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He wished he knew what to say to make this all better. He thought it was selfish for wanting her in a way they couldn't be.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. She shook her head slightly, not trusting herself to talk about anything right now.

The sun set completely and Lux knew their moment would come to an end, so she savored it while it lasted.

"My sweatshirt," Eric said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It looks better on you. You should keep it." He tightened his arms around her ever so slightly. Just enough for Lux to notice. He breathed deeply against her.

"Thanks Minnesota," she said smiling into his chest.


	3. Temptation Waits

A/N: I want to thank everyone for all of the awesome reviews! It means so much to me that you guys like this story and I'll absolutely do my best to keep it alive! After tonight's _amazing_ episode 'Camp Grounded' I knew it was time to post my most recent chapter. Enjoy!

_English Midterm. Friday_. Lux searched through the pile of clothes on the floor, silently praying that her copy of Pride and Prejudice lay somewhere in between last week's socks and yesterday's gym shorts. She had her blinders on. Nothing was going to derail this midterm. She wasn't going to think about anything else. Anyone else. Crouching down, she peeked under the bed.

"Crap!" Lux cried, looking at the clock. Baze would be there any minute. She pulled open the drawers of her desk. Nothing. At least nothing to do with school. She took a quick breath trying to remember where the book was.

"_Can I walk you home?" Eric asked. _

"_I'm a big girl. I can make it back." Lux responded leaning away from him. _

"_Lux," He said turning towards her, "I wish you didn't feel like you always have to be on guard with me. Did it ever occur to you that I might want to walk you home?"_

"No!" Lux said out loud. She couldn't spend time reminiscing. _Big Test. Friday. _It may only be Monday, but before long it would be Friday morning. D-day.

"Lux! Baze is here!" Cate called from downstairs.

"Crap!" Lux ran downstairs. "I can't find my english book!" _Tutor-bitch is literally going to decapitate me. _

"Where did you last see it?" Cate asked handing Lux a blueberry muffin. Lux threw her hands up in the air exasperatedly.

"Seriously?" she sighed and took the muffin. "If I knew that...it wouldn't be lost!" Lux went to meet Baze. He greeted her with a smile and the copy of Pride and Prejudice that she had been looking for all morning.

"Hey, don't you need this?" He asked handing the book to her. Lux was in one of those moods. The one where she was going to hit Baze over the head for not calling her to let her know he had it the entire time. "I found it in the truck this morning."

"Thanks," Lux said without any real emotion. School was going to be the end of her. As they drove to school, she leaned back into the seat and closed her eyes for a few seconds.

"_I don't know. I guess I'm..."_

"_You're what?" Eric asked._

"_Not used to people wanting to be around me," she stated matter-of-factly._

"_I..." Eric frowned. Lux shrugged._

"_Don't worry about it. It's life."_

"_Not it's not that," Eric replied shaking his head, "it's just..."_

"_Just what?" Lux asked._

"School time, space case." Baze broke Lux's trance. She allowed the images of their conversation to ruminate around her for a few seconds longer before rejoining the world. "Have fun at tutoring!" Baze called out cheerfully as she headed into the school.

_Blahhhhhhh. _That's all Lux thought of and wanted to say when the word tutoring was used.

"Good morning, Lux," her tutor greeted her as she walked into the classroom." Lux gave her a half-hearted smile. "So this Friday..."

"Yeah I know. Biggest test of my life sort of situation. A do or die scenario."

"Well, only if you want a slim chance to pass the class," the tutor chuckled ruefully to herself.

_Did she really just say that out loud? _Lux started to wonder if she was just a bitch or if this was some teaching tactic to motivate her to do better. If that was the case. A big NOT WORKING should be stamped on her face. She wished she could be anywhere but here.

"_Just what," Lux repeated, putting her hand on his knee. Eric gazed deeply into her eyes._

"_There are things that I want to say to you. But I can't. It's not right." _

"_Screw what's right. This is where you and I differ Mr. Daniels. You have too many boundaries." _

"_But Lux, you have like no boundaries at all," he smiled at her. _

"_I guess I've never really needed them...or just never wanted to be constricted by them."_

"_And here...this is one of those moments where I want to tell you that I really love that about you," He said quietly._

"_Ah. But you can't. Because it's wrong," Lux repeated._

"_So smart...and such a quick learner to boot," he grinned and stood. "I'm walking you home."_

Lux's heart warmed. She was ready to face the next hour. 

"Let's get started. Last Friday I had asked you to analyze one of the more important quotes from Pride and Prejudice. We spent the session discussing Of Mice and Men and forgot to go over the assignment."

_Oh...not good. _Her heart instantly dropped.Lux pretended to rummage through her bag. Had she just forgotten to do it? No, she had started, but her brief notes were still at home. She spent all her time looking for the damned book itself.

"Lux, the quote. Tell me your analyzation." Lux opened the book and quickly skimmed through it hoping for smart sparkles to magically fall from the ceiling.

_Which do you mean?" and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, "She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."_

"Okay. So basically Darcy is saying that Elizabeth isn't really pretty enough and he isn't in the mood to dance with her. To dance with someone like her. He's saying that most of the ladies at the ball are all the same."

"Did you do this assignment?" Lux nodded weakly. It was a half nod because it was the half truth. "Don't lie to me! That's the same answer you gave me last time. You are such a waste of my time! Get out and don't come back until you've done the assignment!"

Lux's eyes glazed over as she hastily packed her bag. She wouldn't let the tutor see her cry like this. She ran out of the room and down the hall. _Stupid. Waste of Space. Idiot. Worthless. _The words stampeded over her thoughts, leaving her breathless.

"Lux?" Eric saw a petite blonde in a hat flash by his office. Still too early for students to be in the school, he automatically assumed it was Lux. _She should still be in tutoring. _Eric headed into the hall and saw her turn the corner. "Lux," he called a bit louder this time. He found her crouched against the wall, breathing heavily into her hands.

It was instinct. Pure and simple. An innate need to protect her from the pain in the world. Without thinking He kneeled down on the floor and wrapped his arms around her.

It was instinct he suddenly realize that was going to get him into trouble. Quickly he realized and backed off. Only slightly...as much as necessary. But then she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. So broken. What caused this? Who caused this? The desire to inflict physical harm on the cause was overwhelming. Quickly looking around he pulled Lux into the office supply closet and closed the door. She sank back down to the floor and leaned against the door. He sat cross-legged facing from her. Their knees touched.

"Lux, what happened?" He asked, taking one of her hands into his. She shook her head. She couldn't tell him. All the insecurities of being his inferior...of being too young and too stupid...rose to the surface. It didn't matter if he thought she was his equal because _she_ didn't feel that way. She leaned into her lap and put her head against her legs. He wished there was more he could do to comfort her. "Please talk to me. Please?" He asked gently.

"I just feel stupid," she said stifling her tears.

"Why? What did you do?"

"That's just it. I didn't do anything!" She brushed away the remaining tears and shrank back against the door. Their knees no longer touched. She closed her eyes and even though he was right in front of her, she thought back to the end of the evening the week prior, as he walked her home.

"_I kind of like holding your hand...Mr. Daniels." Lux smiled as she exaggerated his name. He gave her hand a soft squeeze and they continued on to her house. _

"_I kind of like that you like holding my hand." She could see Cate's house at the end of the block. They would have to separate soon. _

"_I have to ask you something." Lux said hesitantly. Eric nodded. "Why did you leave? Why do I have a new tutor?" Eric sighed. _

"_Lu..." but he was interrupted by his phone. "Lux, I have to answer this. It's kind of a personal call though." Obviously he didn't want to talk to her._

"_You know what? It's fine. I'm just a few houses down anyway. I'll see you in school on Monday." Just when they were making so much progress. She didn't wait for an answer. There was no romantic goodbye._

Lux looked at Eric's soft eyes. She could see how big his heart was. She could see his internal conflict, the inner war he was waging with himself. She didn't like to reason for such a battle.

"My problems are many. But right now? They're directly related to my current tutor. So I'm going to ask you one more time why you abandoned me. I'm going to only ask one more time. But if you choose not to answer..." Lux didn't know how to finish her sentence. She just closed her eyes, wishing to be someone different. To be somewhere else.

"Lux...I..." They both say in silence for a while longer. "I thought it would be too hard to be around you."

Lux shook her head.

"That doesn't explain why you left for almost a week. It doesn't explain why you aren't my tutor now."

"It's still too hard..." But his inflection was all off. Lux had many skills. Detecting a lie was a big one. She stood to leave.

"I don't believe you. But I understand that it's all you feel comfortable explaining. However you wanted to know...to understand why the weak little blonde is crying." Lux pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's because the special ed. tutor that _you _forced on me has done nothing but shoot me down...in fact she's been a downright verbal bitch to me." She reached for the door and looked back at him. "And that's really putting it nicely."

By Wednesday, Lux had given up any hopes of passing the test. She didn't do the assignment because she deemed herself to be illiterate. She stood by what the tutor said. She didn't bother to go back and be a waste of space. But she couldn't tell Cate or Baze that. So after being dropped off, Lux found a secluded spot around the side of the building and sat down. Trying to be somewhat productive, she opened her book. The words seemed jumbled. She had too much frustration towards this book now.

"Thought I'd find you here," a voice snuck up behind her. He sat down beside her and dropped his bag to the grass.

"I won't go back to tutoring with her. I've pretty much been verbally abused my entire life, and there's only so much I'll take." Lux flicked the cover of the book habitually.

"Well then, we've got a lot of work to do before Friday," Eric stated with mock authority.

"Wait," Lux smiled turning to Eric. "Doe this mean you're my tutor again?"

"Not officially," Eric shook his head. "It's a case by case basis, and I choose to take this week's case because it seems pretty important." He pulled something square out of his bag. "I've got a plan for you. So your mission if you choose to acc..."

"I accept it," Lux interjected happily. Eric couldn't resist a smile in response to Lux's obviously brightened mood.

"I have a copy of Pride and Prejudice. It's the DVD. Have you seen it?" Lux shook her head. She rarely watched movies. "All right then. It's yours to borrow. I want you to watch it and be thinking about the critical questions and quotations on your worksheet. Have them with you as a reference but use the movie as another tool."

Lux found herself sarcastically wishing that he was still dating Paige, so they could watch together. _That was a decent night,_ Lux thought fondly. Eric picked up on her thoughts.

"Do you still have my phone number?" He asked, remembering the first night he met her. They had exchanged numbers. "Because if you want to work through it with someone you can call me."

"I don't think I have your phone number," Lux grinned trying to hide her lie.

"Uh huh," Eric snatched Lux's cell out of her hand and scrolled through the contacts.

"Hey private property, dude," Lux said halfheartedly. He continued to scroll. "See? No Eric in my phone. I didn't want think there was any reason to keep it." He stopped scrolling and smiled.

"So what's this?" He handed the phone back to her with the screen showing contact- _Minnesota. _

"Someone else. Someone I know who happens to currently reside in Minnesota," Lux lied unable to resist a slight smirk.

"Liar," he grinned, checking his watch. Students would start arriving soon. "Well since you don't have my phone number, you might as well just come over to my place to watch the movie," he said standing.

_Unexpected plot twist, _Lux thought as her heart started thumping.

"Why Mr. Daniels, are you asking me on a date?"

"No," Eric paused looking back at her. "It's just a study session, strictly PG." he started to leave but paused again. "Is that something you can handle?"

"Of course," Lux said thumbing through her book carelessly. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"

_The kind that will get me into trouble, _he thought, smiling to himself.


	4. Sweet Disposition

A/N: I wasn't going to post a new chapter until next week, especially since it's NaNoWriMo season...but after receiving so many reviews, I knew I had to finish this chapter. You all rock so much and I can't thank you enough! Hopefully this chapter shows my gratitude!

.~*~.

Lux's mood visibly brightened for the rest of the day and she brought home her smile. It was something Cate noticed right away. She followed Lux up to her room and found her playing with her hair.

"Cate," Lux asked looking in the mirror. She wondered how she should word what she wanted to ask. She didn't want to incriminate herself. "If you_ hypothetically_ were going to an _event _with someone who you had possibly a thing for, would you...wear your hair up? Or down?" She turned to Cate for her opinion. Cate smiled and grabbed a brush. She took it to Lux's hair.

"Only wear your hair up if it's going to be windy...or you don't want him to run his fingers through it." Cate pulled the brush through Lux's long locks. "So who..." She caught Lux's raised eyebrow in the mirror. It was a clear warning to tread carefully. "Never mind," Cate said quickly, heeding the non verbal cue. "Just try to have fun. You've been so stressed lately," She squeezed Lux's shoulders and smiled lovingly at her daughter.

The idea of Eric showing Lux that kind of attention seemed unlikely as he had been so hot and cold lately. _More like a constant state of lukewarm. _ She decided to take Cate's suggestion and wear her hair down. As Cate headed back downstairs to let Lux change, she was grateful that there were no probing questions that she had to answer. It was nice having someone respect her privacy for once. Rummaging through her closet, she decided on a pair of grey leggings and a Harvey Danger t-shirt. She debated wether or not to wear _his_ sweatshirt. She opted not too and grabbed a light jacket instead.

Around seven she headed over to Eric's place. When he opened the door to his apartment, Lux dropped a bag of Swedish Fish into his hands.

"They're good for the brain," she stated tapping her temple. She plopped down on his couch and viewed her surroundings. _Typical male apartment, _she thought. Big TV and a nice couch but hardly anything else. There was an enormous black leather reclining chair angled with the sofa to face the television. She wondered if he'd sit there and not next to her.

"Popcorn?" He called from the kitchen.

"Sure," she replied scanning the room again. _Typical english teacher's apartment, _she also thought noticing the decent sized bookcase filled with literature and..._comic books? _"No way," she said in disbelief under her breath. She hopped off the couch and headed straight for the bookshelf. She could see many classic titles and early editions, all sealed in plastic covers.

"I see you've discovered my secret obsession," an unfamiliar voice said coming up behind her. Lux turned around and faced what she assumed was a man in his mid-20's. He had a thick beard. "Hi, I'm Charlie," he grabbed one of the comic books and stuffed it into his bag. "Reading material for work," he grinned.

"Roommate?" Lux asked offering a guess. Charlie nodded. "That would be me. Off to work, it was nice to meet you..."

"Lux," she said completing his sentence. He smiled again before heading out.

"I see you've met my roommate," Eric said heading to the couch. Lux continued to thumb through the different comics. The son of one of the first foster families that Lux stayed with loved comics. She fondly remembered staying up late and reading them with him by flashlight. They were a decent family. Lux let the memory roll off her shoulders. _Just another blip in my dysfunctional timeline. _

_ "_Disappointed that the comics aren't mine?" Eric asked. Lux shrugged and sat down next to him on the couch. He conveniently placed the bowl of popcorn between them.

"Where are my fish?" Lux asked as he turned the DVD player on. Eric pointed to the bowl of popcorn. They were mixed in with the popcorn. She reached for one and it was warm and slightly melty. "Why are my fish co-mingling with the popcorn?" She didn't trust his concoction, but she gave it a try. It was unbelievably delicious.

"I'm a master of the culinary arts, you know," he remarked, happily helping himself to the candy fish filled popcorn.

Lux couldn't take her eyes of the screen. What it must have been like to live back then. It probably wasn't as fantastical as the movie portrayed, but it was still looked magical all the same. Lux for a brief moment imagined it was her in the movie. Being perfectly coiffed and wearing unnaturally large dresses. It really wasn't who she was. "You remind me of her," Eric said, interrupting her thoughts. "Of Elizabeth. You're both very...strong willed."

"I see," Lux frowned. _Not the adjective I was hoping for. _

_ "_No, don't get me wrong," he paused the movie. "You're quick witted with such a sharp tongue. You're also quite intelligent and clever...you embody all of Miss Bennett's best features." Lux shook her head.

"You're wrong. I'm not intelligent," She picked up the empty bowl of popcorn and brought it into the kitchen. This was no longer going that way she had intended. Although she didn't really have any intentions, she knew the topic of 'let's assess Lux's intelligence' was not on the list. She took a deep breath. _It'll start to get awkward if you don't go back in there. _She forced herself to rise above it.

"Lux," Eric started but she shook her head firmly.

"Just press play." Lux didn't want to talk about it. They resumed watching the film. Lizzie ran through the rain with Mr. Darcy in hot pursuit.

_I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand. _

_Sir, I appreciate the struggle you have been through, and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done. _

"I don't think this is helping," she reached for the remote and paused the movie. "It's not working like last time." As she spoke all the lights shut off. "Did I anger the Austenites?" Lux asked trying to see through the thick blanket of darkness.

"The whole block is out," Eric said looking out of the window.

"Oh man, you are so cursed," she stated, referring back to his truck.

"Hold tight, I'm going to try and find a flashlight." Lux didn't hold much hope in that fact, as she was sure all the flashlights were still stuffed into one of the many unpacked boxes scattered around the apartment. A few minutes later he returned with a large candle. "I could only find citronella," he admitted sheepishly.

"At least we're safe from the mosquitoes," Lux said with a smirk. "It's all about the silver lining." They faced each other on the couch.

"So the movie wasn't working? How come?" Lux shrugged.

"Do you really think I'm like Lizzie?" Lux asked. He nodded and stretched his arms in front of him. He took her hands and intertwined their fingers. "You know that kind of makes you Darcy, right?" Eric rolled his eyes. Lux could see a slight smile in the shadows of the flickering candle. "It's kind of funny. Elizabeth's first impression of Darcy was horrible. What she overheard him saying at the ball it ruined his image. It set the mood for the rest of the story."

"Why is that funny?"

"Because we're basically this story in reverse."

"How so?" Eric asked, tracing the palms of her hands with his finger.

"I had a great first impression of you. I mean you took me to the freaking ocean. We instantly hit it off. But now..."

"Now, what? You don't think we have a connection?"

"No it's not that. Darcy and Elizabeth had totally misconceived each other and because of that their love took forever to bloom. With us we ignited quickly but because of certain circumstances, we face some obstacles."

"What about their circumstances?" Eric asked.

"In a way they're kind of like ours. But not really. I guess wealth isn't such a huge deal for the most part in our modern generation," Lux laughed slightly.

"What's funny?" He pushed her hands together and covered them with his bigger ones.

"Nothing. It's just that I bet a student my age being courted by a _somewhat good looking_ teacher was actually socially acceptable back then." Eric mused on that thought for a minute and then leaned towards her.

"Lux," she could see him smiling faint light of the candle.

"What?" She asked. Her heart started drumming again.

"You've got it. You understand it." Lux took a second and realized he was right. Everything was starting to click into place. The border pieces of the jigsaw were all connected.

"Shut up," she said fascinated with her brain. They pushed the pads of their fingers together playfully. She noticed for the first time, just how big his eyes were.

"Will you do me a favor?" he asked in a soft voice.

"Hmm?"

"Stop...saying you're stupid. Because you're not," he reached over and ran his hand through her hair. Lux couldn't resist leaning into his touch. He folded her arms around his neck and grabbed her hips. A look of pure wanting covered his eyes. He pulled her into his lap and smiled. "You're so full of life," he murmured, "and...beautiful."

Just then, to Lux's dismay, everything powered back on. The electrical whirring of various appliances humming back to life interrupted their moment of mental lapse and brought reality crashing back to light. She didn't dare to move. There was still a slight chance of his lips finding hers. But what his lips found was her forehead, as he planted a soft but swift kiss on it. She sighed slightly with mild tension. _Is this how it'll always be? _

_ "_What's the matter?" he asked, still holding her in his lap.

_ "_I don't know, to be honest with you. But here I am...sitting in your lap and I know you want to kiss me." Lux took a deep breath to calm her frustrations. He withdrew his hands. Suddenly her's were cold.

"Lux, it's wrong," Eric responded in a low voice. Lux had enough. She disentangled herself from him and stood to leave. "Lux," Eric pleaded.

"No," she grabbed her bag. "You're either in or you're out. This is it. Because you can't be in the middle. _I _won't be in the middle, being tugged in every direction. It's too exhausting." She left his apartment and stood for a moment in the hallway.

_ What did I just do? _Her heart plummeted. _Oh god, what did I do? _Lux wanted to vomit, thinking she had just ruined things. Suddenly a hand clamped down on her wrist and pulled her into the corner of the deserted hallway. Eric pinned her firmly against the wall and they both folded into the shadows. He was confident with his lips as he pressed them against her temples. It was an intimate apology. She hoped that he had come to his senses and that this was his way of showing it. Her heart raced wildly as he kissed his way down the side of her face. His hands deftly wove their way into her hair, drawing her even closer. She was grateful for the rough wall behind her, as it was all that kept her from falling to the ground. "I'm in." The words barely escaped his throat as he captured her lips with his. There was no hesitation. She opened her mouth silently demanding more. He gave willingly. Both were intoxicated by the thick candy scented air between them. "I'm so sorry if I ever made you think I was anything but..." His voice trailed off as she shook her head and closed her eyes. It didn't matter. A soft moan escaped her lips as he kissed her again. She couldn't resist a smile, tasting the salty flavor of popcorn on his tongue.

"Wow," she breathed heavily, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm in," he repeated softly.

"I believe you," she said kissing him softly as a sign of confirmation. They leaned into the corner of the hallway for a couple of minutes longer. The slow realization of time eventually crept into her brain. Taking Eric's wrist, she looked at his watch.

"I've gotta go," she groaned. "I'm at Baze's tonight and he'll start to wonder..." She looked into his soft eyes. He nodded but didn't make ant effort to step out of her way. Instead he kissed her neck slowly. Her head instantly fell back against the wall.

"Let me take you home," he whispered, between lingering kisses. She shook her head weakly. She knew what would happen if they remained in such close proximity any longer.

"Baze's place is close...take me 5 minutes..." Eric's thumbs slipped under her shirt and began caressing circles into her skin. If it was a ploy to confuse her train of thought, then it was working.

All of a sudden, Lux's phone began to ring. She looked at the caller id. It was Baze. She swallowed tightly and tried to compose herself. Eric was still pressed up against her, but had stopped with his lips.

"Hey Baze," Lux answered, as normally as possible.

"Hey kiddo, it's getting late, when are you coming home?"

"On my way now. Be there in like 10."

"Do you need me to come get you?"

"Nope, I'm already on my way." She closed her phone and looked at Eric. She gave him a mock evil look that told him to step away if he wanted to keep his appendages. Raising his arms in surrender he took a giant step back. She wanted those arms to be wrapped back around her waist. _No. Bad thoughts. _But they were good thoughts at the same time.

"I didn't know that it only took a kiss to get rid of Eeyore's frown," he said, loving the permanent smile affixed to her face.

"You see? Now you know my secret," she said stepping towards him with a devilish look in her eye. "But what's your big secret?" Eric's eyes flashed a look of pain and fear. Had Lux not been staring so deeply at him, she wouldn't have noticed.

"You'll text me when you get home?" He asked, kissing the top of her head lovingly. She nodded. "See? I knew you had my number." Lux rolled her eyes and left.

When she arrived at Baze's loft he was watching television on the couch.

"Hey there," he greeted, flipping through the stations. She sat down next to him. "Nice shirt," he remarked, looking at it curiously. Lux grabbed the remote and looked for something mindless to watch.

"Thanks," she said. "It's yours." She pulled out her phone and texted _I'm home _to Eric.

"Did you have a good night?" Baze asked, stealing the remote back.

"Hey," she said, reaching for the remote, but he had it well out of her reach. It had been a good night. _Although_...she picked up her phone and texted Eric again. _Tonight was def not PG :)_

"Yeah I had a nice time. You?" Baze nodded. Lux's cell vibrated. She scrolled through the message. _Maybe PG-13? Meet me tomorrow b4 school. I'll bring coffee. _Suddenly Baze reached over and snatched the cell phone out of her hands playfully.

_ "_Who's...Minnesota?" He asked exaggerating each syllable. He grinned as Lux full force attacked him and took her phone back.

"None of your business," she stated simply. "No one important." But her smile gave her away. Because he was somebody important. At least to her.

"Right," he said drawling his words sleepily. He stretched out on the couch and put his legs up on the coffee table. "So, you excited for becoming one with nature this weekend?" He asked, referring to the school camping trip.

"I've got to get through this test in English on Friday before I can even think about anything else," she replied honestly.

"You got tutoring tomorrow?" Baze asked rubbing his tired eyes. Lux nodded, watching the television screen. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"No, I've got a good tutor," she smiled. "But thanks Baze, that means a lot."

"No problem kiddo." He stood and ruffled her hair, dropping the remote into her lap. "Don't stay up too late."

Lux found an old episode of I Love Lucy and put the remote down on the table. It had been a good night. But as she watched the show, she couldn't help but feel that it wouldn't last. She tried not to think too much of it, but it weighed in the back of her mind. Her phone vibrated on the couch. She picked it up and read the message. She grinned deeply to herself, no longer caring about anything else.

_ You're worth being 'in' for._


	5. Scars and Stitches

A/N: Again, thank you so much for all of the reviews! You guys never cease to amaze me. Hopefully everyone likes this chapter! I apologize if there are any typos, I was only able to proof it once. I may be looking for a beta in the near future if anyone is interested!

.~**~.

"I think she's going to need more flashcards, what do you think?" Cate asked, looking up at Baze from a long list of items.

"I think she's got enough flashcards. What she's really going to need are snacks to power through this all night study session," Baze corrected her, pointing at the list. He demanded that his snacks be added.

"We have plenty of healthy snacks in the house."

"It's not healthy snacks that fuel the brain, Cate. It's salt, sugar, and some color additives that really get those juices flowing.

"Hey," Lux said loudly, waving her arms in the air. "_She _is right here and I don't need anymore flashcards or snacks." Lux frowned as they kept arguing as if she wasn't in the room.

It was Thursday morning and the big test was tomorrow. She felt mostly prepared. Se had gone over every book necessary for the test. However, Cate and Baze still wanted to have some sort of family study session. Which was fine, because she was still having the before and after-school study session with the very important and very handsome teacher. She looked over to Baze and Cate and their heated squabble.

"You know what, I think you're right," Cate said, finally acknowledging Baze's snack idea. "But I work closer to that candy shop over on Columbia-"

"And I can get more flashcards from office supply at work," Baze cut in. They both smiled, having achieved a resolution.

"Lux likes those chocolate covered pretzels they have, right?" Lux was about to answer when Baze cut in.

"She loves them," Baze interrupted. "Oh and get some of those old fashioned jelly beans." Lux didn't like either of those things. This was starting to get annoying.

"Hey," Lux said with exasperation, "is Ryan joining this study thing tonight too?" A flash of something odd crossed Cate's face. She hastily changed the subject and asked Baze to take Lux to school.

"C'mon kiddo, let's get going. Although do you usually have tutoring on Thursday?" Baze yawned, and looked at his watch.

"Today is a special test prep session." It was only half of a lie really. The two of them would probably go over test details for a bit. But Lux also knew they'd probably spend a good twenty minutes talking about nothing while staring at each other in that dreamy kind of goofy way they've been doing the last day or so.

When Baze dropped Lux off he told her to tell Cate he'd be there right after work.

.~**~.

"You seem...frenzied. Are you stressed about tomorrow's test?" Eric asked as Lux entered the classroom, instantly picking up on her present mood.

"No," Lux shook her head. "The test I actually feel prepared for. It's just..."

"It's what?" Eric asked, wishing he could be closer to her.

"I don't know, I guess...but they're my real parents. And they relate to me in more ways than my foster parents did. But then there are times...where I just feel..."

"Feel what?" Eric asked, encouraging her to tell him. But Lux just shook her head and pulled out her books. She gave him a half smile and reached across the desk to take the worksheet he had. As she reached across he took her hand in is. "Feel what?" He repeated. His hand warmed her cold one. She loved how much bigger it was then hers and how it was rough in some places, but soft in others.

"Invisible," Lux admitted for the first time in a long time. "Like they love me but they still don't know anything about me."

"Like what things?"

"Just stupid things," Lux said. "Like the fact that I don't like any candy besides Swedish Fish. And I really don't like chocolate. But I feel bad because Cate loves it and it's my fault for never telling her. Or the fact that...you know what? This is way to depressing for seven in the morning. Let's just work on this stuff," Lux said pointing to study sheets in front of her. Eric withdrew his hand, understanding that she wouldn't say anymore right now.

"I just want you to know," Eric said, handing her one of the worksheets, "You are absolutely not invisible. Not to anyone. And," Eric paused before speaking. "Certainly not to me." Lux gave him a sheepish sort of smile as she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear

"You know," she thought aloud. "There's this coffee shop. Totally out of the way. Sort off the beaten path. Why don't we meet there after school? I'll need some caffeine for my all night study extravaganza with the family anyway." Lux could see that Eric was contemplating the proposal.

"How out of the way?" They did have to be logical about this after all.

"A couple of towns over. Just enough so we won't run into anyone who knows us." Lux gave Eric the address after he consented. There was a large part of him that didn't want to admit that he was in fact excited to spend some time with Lux outside of school. They agreed to meet promptly at four.

"Hey Tash," Lux called, finding her by their lockers.

"Hola, what's up with you?" Tasha asked, pulling some books out. Tasha seemed slightly distracted but Lux really needed to tell her best friend what was going on. It wasn't like the two of them to have secrets.

"Actually I kind of having something to tell you," Lux said. For some reason she sounded nervous. Only slightly, but just enough for it to be evident in her voice. Tasha turned towards her with a concerned expression.

"Are you okay?" Tasha asked. Lux nodded. In a way she was even better than just okay. It was hard to put it all into words. But she'd have to try. Because Tasha was the one person who she trusted more than anyone.

"I'm fine. It's just that a while ago...before you came back I met this-"

"Hey, sorry," Tasha interrupted, waving to someone in the hallway. It was Jones. Lux wasn't surprised.

"It's fine, I just kind of wanted to tal-"

"But you're okay?" Lux nodded, confused. "Good. Then is it okay if we talk later? Jones and I are grabbing some lunch together. You're totally welcome to come with, but I know you have class." Lux sighed.

"Tash..." But her friend had already started walking away. _Is this really happening? _Lux couldn't believe how invisible she was. She was tempted to ditch her last class, but thought better. It was a long day and by the end of it she was happy to be having coffee with the one person who paid any attention to her lately.

Lux arrived at the small coffee house just before 4 p.m. She ordered a large coffee with milk. She never liked sugar in her coffee. She found a small but comfortable couch in one of the darker corners and sat down. She picked up a magazine and flipped through it. There were some fun at home hair care tips, but other than that it was just full of nonsense. Lux looked up at the clock by the main counter. It was already a quarter past. She texted him to make sure he knew how to get there. With his cursed luck he was probably broken down twenty miles away. When he didn't reply, Lux didn't know whether to be worried or to be annoyed. By 4:30 there was still no reply. She decided to give him fifteen more minutes. When he still didn't show, Lux grew tired of waiting for him and decided to go home.

True to her word, Cate brought candy and true to his word, Baze brought office supplies. Actually he brought a lot of supplies. Different colored highlighters, fancy pens, notebooks, filler paper, and index cards.

"Did you loot your office?" Cate asked as Baze came into the house loaded with products. Baze grinned wildly.

"It's like taking candy from a baby...except the baby doesn't cry afterward and nobody knows what you've done!"

"Just be careful there...crazy eyes." Cate said in a reprimanding tone. But in Cate's defense, Baze did have his crazy-bad idea eyes. Both her and Lux were used to them though.

"Where's the kiddo?" Baze asked putting his treasures down on the table. Lux rolled her eyes and groaned loudly from the couch.

"Dude, I'm right here. How is it that no one sees me today?" Baze headed over to the couch and dropped index cards in her lap.

"Study time, so get off the couch." They all congregated around the dining table and Baze dug into the snacks that Cate had purchased.

"Alright, so there are three books that will be covered on the exam. Pride and Prejudice and Of Mice and Men being the in depth novels. The last are just short stories from your Am. Lit. textbook, right?" Cate asked organizing the study schedule she had made. Lux nodded and pulled out her textbook. The three of them had a pretty decent work flow for the first hour or so. However the inevitable bickering between Cate and Baze ensued and Lux found herself caught in the middle.

"I'm just going to head over to Switzerland," she stated going back to the couch. She listened to them argue incessantly.

"What I'm trying to say is that there was a very significant bond between Lenny and George-"

"I'm not dispelling that," Cate interrupted. "It's just that you alluded to the fact that their relationship was well...actually a you know..._relationship_." Baze nodded firmly.

"Is it so impossible to believe?" Baze asked. Cate just threw her hands up in the air.

"Yes. It's crazy!" Baze asked her why. "Because. It just is. And if there was any proof to this, they would lecture on it in school." Baze shook his head.

"No way, they never discuss the good stuff in high-school. But I guarantee you that there is a university somewhere that teaches _Homosexuality in Modern American Literature_.

"Whatever Baze. Maybe you're right about the class...but that doesn't exist in _this _book." She waved it in his face for added emphasis.

Lux was exhausted just from listening to the two of them argue. It would have been nice to have Ryan around tonight. _He handles these situations well, _she thought to herself as she closed her eyes and drifted into a listless sleep on the soft couch. The test was less than eight hours away, and Lux just hoped she was prepared. As her brain slowly switched off she could have sworn she heard Baze taunt Cate with _Lenny and George sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g..._But her brain fortunately did turn off and she curled deeply into the couch.

.~**~.

"Lux, sweetie, wake up. You've got to get ready for school." Lux slowly opened her eyes a bit and saw Cate's face hovering over her.

"Geez Cate. Can't a girl get some space?" Lux asked, but Cate ignored the question entirely. She heard plates being pulled out of the cabinet. Lux smiled. "Is Ryan here?" Cate shook her head, no.

"Baze stayed over last night. I'm surprised you didn't notice him," she said pointing to the couch across from Lux on which he slept. Lux rubbed her tired eyes.

"Breakfast time, kiddo!" Baze called from the kitchen.

"Baze and I made a great breakfast. I let him do most of the cooking. I just chopped and stirred. So you don't have to worry about that."

Lux was exhausted. As she stretched her arms and neck, her thoughts drifted between yesterday and the test today. It was hard because she had no focus this morning. When Lux finally did shuffle into the kitchen she was shocked by the amount of food. Pancakes, eggs, fruit, french toast, coffee. Oh coffee. She greedily poured herself a mug full. As she took her first sip she remembered being stood up at the coffee shop. Suddenly she didn't want anymore of the hot drink. She sampled a little bit of everything and that seemed to appease Cate and Baze. As she was packing her stuff to head out, Cate gave her a warm hug.

"You are going to do great on this exam. And even if you don't-but I know you will, We'll all still love you and we'll figure something else out. So try not to worry alright?" Lux nodded and hugged her back. Lux smiled as Baze held the door of his car open for her. She didn't feel invisible this morning. It was definitely a start.

"You know, we don't have to go to school. We could just play hooky. You could come to work with me," Baze stated, as if it were the best idea in the world. "You could file papers or something. It's just an option," Baze said as he pulled into the school parking lot. Lux thanked Baze for the ride and headed into the building. _One last tutoring session. He probably won't even be there. _But he was. Of course he was. Lux took a deep breath and walked into the room.

"Morning," Eric greeted in a tired voice. Immediately Lux stopped. Something seemed off, but she couldn't place it. Sitting down, she pulled out her study aids with no real intention of looking at them. "You ready?" Eric asked. Lux assumed he was referring to the test. She nodded curtly and pretended to open one of the books and read through it. "You're lips are pursed, you know. Are you angry about something?" _Are you kidding me right now? _Lux thought, wanting to slap him across the face. She closed her book and placed it on the desk. She sat back in her chair and stared at him, trying to decided what to say next. He looked a little more rumpled today then usual. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt even if he didn't deserve it.

"Maybe you just forgot," she stated. It wasn't a question, there was no intonation that signaled him to answer. "I mean it is possible. Because you don't seem like the type of guy that would stand a girl up and not call or text or...whatever."

"I didn't forget." Eric replied. There were dark circles under his eyes. "I just couldn't come."

"Why not?" Lux asked quickly, demanding an immediate answer.

"Drop it Lux. I'm sorry. This is my apology. So...just accept it and let's move on." Lux wondered if he could see the metaphorical steam bursting from her ears. If it was one thing she hated most of all, it was being told how to react. What to do.

"No. Because that's not an apology. And you've given me no reason to remotely forgive you," Lux clenched her jaw to stop herself from saying things she would regret. "I waited for you...for like an hour. You made me look like an idiot. So I'm sorry, but I want a real reason as to why you ditched me."

"You need to let it go. I don't want to talk about this anymore." Eric's voice was firm and resolute. But Lux ignored it.

"I don't need to do anything. Why are you avoiding telling me? I can't trust you if you don't tell me." The conversation was becoming more heated than Lux had anticipated. She could feel the hot tears behind her eyes. She squeezed them back and waited for him to tell her what the hell was going on.

"I'm not discussing this any further."

"Why not?" Lux demanded to know.

"Because it's none of your business!" Eric said in a raised voice, slamming his hands down on his desk. Lux figured she could keep herself composed for about 33 more seconds. She swiftly threw everything back into her bag and stood to leave. "Lux...wait," Eric said in a much softer voice. He regretted yelling. Lux stopped at the door and face him again.

"It's kind of sad really. Because me? I'm used to being treated this way," she took a quivering breath. "But it doesn't mean that I want or deserve to be treated like this." Her eyes started to glisten. She knew she didn't have much time. "Especially not by you."

"Lux," Eric stood to approach her, but she held her hand as a clear warning not to come any closer.

"You really just suck. Because not only am I incredibly hurt, but you've pissed me the hell off and now I have to go and take this damned test in a foul mood. So screw you...just stay away from me."

Lux quickly left and ran to the girl's bathroom. She had left tutoring so early that there was still no one around. She fell to the floor and let herself cry. Would every man always treat her like this? It had taken Bug forever to let her in and even then, he still thought he knew what Lux could or couldn't handle. It was ridiculous. Lux let herself be miserable for as long as she could. Eventually she could hear students arriving. She composed herself and headed to the exam. She drew on all her strength just to keep it together. She knew that all of this expended energy should be channeled towards the test.

"Hey Lux, you okay? You seem stressed," Math commented as he entered the classroom, breaking Lux's thoughts. She realized that she was the first one there.

"Just trying to stay focused," she replied. The bell rang throughout the school and people slowly started to file in. When everyone was seated, Math passed out the exams, letting them know they had until the final bell to complete it. _Just breathe and stay focused. _Lux and her inner mantra were working overtime. Although she was angry, Eric had been a good tutor. She thought back to one of their earlier sessions, remembering what Eric told her _"Just make sure you read through everything before you even start. Just get a feel for what's going on. It'll help to keep you focused if you know what's in store. It's good for time management." _ She read through the entire exam like he had told her, and put a star next to the questions she knew would take extra time. First she focused on the ones she could easily answer. She looked at the last question and smiled. She decided to answer it first.

**Please read the following quotation and do a in depth analysis. In your response, please include the title of the novel, and the author.**

_Which do you mean?" and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, "She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."_

Lux answered the question and moved on to the others. She kept taking deep breaths. The clock was incessantly ticking, but Lux tuned it out. After finishing the easier questions she tackled the more difficult ones. Eric had given her advise on what to do when she didn't understand the wording of the questions.

_"Break it down. If it's too confusing, block out the unnecessary words. Underline the key words. Then you'll know what to focus on." _She could hear him in her head. On another day, when she didn't hate him, it would be kind of cool. She glanced at the clock and then at the door. She thought she saw Eric pass by the room, but he wasn't the only blonde teacher, she remembered. Lux wasn't surprised to be the last student left in the classroom. Everyone was allowed to leave after they finished. Most were done with plenty of time to spare. Lux finished with ten extra minutes on the clock. She brought it up to the front and put it on Math's desk. He smiled at her and put it on top of his pile of things to be graded. Lux shook her head and pulled it from the pile and put it back on his desk.

_ "_Please," she asked, "can you grade it now? I won't be able to sleep without knowing. The whole weekend will be shot to hell." She remembered that the camping trip was tomorrow. Eric was one of the chaperones. She realized that she had no interest in going anymore.

_ "_I suppose I can grade it now. But only because I know how hard you've worked." Math took out his pen and opened the test. Lux sat down and waited. He finished grading the exam just as the final bell rang. He held it up and showed her the grade. The score that reflected her countless hours of studying. The emotional turmoil she had put herself through. She nodded, acknowledging that she saw her score. "Do you have any questions?" Math asked. Lux shook her head and went to her next class. Eric stopped her in the hall.

"How'd it go?" He asked, like nothing had happened between them. Lux shrugged nonchalantly.

"Grades aren't out yet. You'll have to wait just like the rest of us." Her tone was slightly bitter. But she didn't regret it for a second. It conveyed how she felt towards him.

"Lux," Eric pleaded, not know what else to say.

"The camping trip is tomorrow," Lux reminded him. "Get out of it." Without waiting for a response she continued down the hall to her next class. Nothing exciting happened during the rest of the day besides the general buzz about the camping trip. It had been something Lux had really been looking forward too. A weekend to get away and spend some fun, quality time with Tasha. She was also looking forward to hanging out with Cate, Baze, and Ryan. Although Ryan probably wouldn't even be coming now. It was all going to hell. There was no point in going.

The next morning, Cate shook Lux awake. It was still dark outside. She opened one eye, and immediately regretted it. The face looking down at her was way too chipper.

"I'm sick. I can't go," Lux lied, yawning. She didn't make a serious effort to convey her fake illness. She hoped her general state of exhaustion would work. Cate touched her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Not even remotely warm. Now get up and let's get going. The wilderness awaits," Cate said happily. "You've got ten minutes. I need help loading stuff into the car."

"Is Ryan coming?" Lux asked hopefully. He was usually the one to mellow out Cate's crazy. But the look on Cate's face told her that he probably wasn't coming. "I'm sorry," Lux said sincerely. Cate smiled sadly.

"It's okay, I just hoped he would want to stay in this marriage."

Lux nodded and forced herself out of bed. _Do it for Cate. _The two of them managed to load up the car and drive to the bus that would take them to the mountains. It was quite a sight to see Cate carrying all of the camping supplies to the bus. Lux picked up her one bag and put it in the storage area. Baze had brought Tasha and Lux waved at her. Tasha waved back, but just as she did, Jones came up from behind and grabbed her playfully at the waist. Lux sighed.

"Lux I forgot a bag in the car, can you grab it?" Cate asked as she struggled to stuff the other bags into the bottom compartment of the bus. By the time Lux stepped onto the bus, everyone was already sitting together. Cate motioned for Lux to the seat in front of her. But of course, _he _was sitting there. Lux searched desperately for anywhere else, but there was nothing left. She slumped into the seat and did her best to avoid eye contact.

"Hey," Eric said quietly. Lux had nothing to say to him. Actually she did.

"Did you even try to get out of the trip?" She asked spitefully. Eric shook his head slightly.

"No."

"Why not?" Lux asked angrily below her breath.

"Because I don't like how things are between us."

"That's your fault. Not mine." Their conversation was cut off as Ryan boarded the bus and sat down next to Lux and Eric. It was obvious he didn't want to sit with Cate. Lux smiled at him.

"You came."

"Well, it was important to you," Ryan said.

"And to Cate," Lux reminded him.

"How'd your test go?" Ryan asked, ignoring Lux's comment. "Sorry I wasn't around to help you study."

"It's fine. Really."

"But it went okay?" Lux shrugged.

"No clue. Grades come out next week." She felt Eric shift next to her.

The rest of the bus ride was uneventful and cramped. It was a relief when they finally arrived at the campground. Lux was bunking with Tasha, but she was nowhere to be found. In the end, Baze set up her and Tasha's tent. After everyone was settled they spent the day doing trust building exercises and just hanging around. At one point a group of people decided to go swimming, but Lux didn't know how to swim, so she stayed behind. Cate offered to stay with her. Baze was off somewhere with Emma, and Lux didn't know where Ryan was.

"Maybe we're just not cut out for camping," Cate mused, as she and Lux sat by the fire pit. There was no fire burning, so Lux and Cate just poked at the ashes with sticks. "Maybe we're just city girls. There's nothing wrong with that." Lux saw Ryan walking towards them.

"Hey Lux, do you mind if I borrow Cate for a bit?" Lux shook her head, letting them know that she didn't mind. She had been hoping they would spend some time together. Maybe even start to work on their marriage. Lux wandered into the woods, leaving Cate and Ryan back at the fireless fire pit. The further she headed into the woods, the less she could hear the playful screams of everyone else coming from the water. As she walked in the direction of silence, she started to feel better. It was like running through the park. It was calming.

The leaves crunched under Lux's feet as she headed deeper into the woods. Being alone with her thoughts had positive and negative consequences. Her thoughts were still on Ryan and Cate, but they drifted to Tasha and Jones. Tasha was supposed to be her best friend. They had never ignored each other before. They had always relied heavily on one another. It just seemed now that Tasha had a taste of normal, there was no room for Lux. The winding path Lux was on was less visible now and covered more with brush from the forest. _I'm not being fair._ She didn't want to be so harsh on Tasha. Lux went through the same thing after finding Cate and Baze. If Lux could pull though and still be herself then Tasha would as well. _It's just a phase, _Lux though as she headed down a slight hill. The trees in this area were much thicker and cast more shadows. She heard a twig crunch in the distance.

"Hello?" She asked turning around. No answer. Lux shrugged and kept walking. It was hard not to think about Eric. Having been wandering around in the middle of nowhere it was slightly inevitable. Her thoughts always landed on him. And it annoyed her. _Not worth my thoughts. _Lux decided it was time to head back to camp. She turned around but realized that the path had disappeared completely. She headed in what she thought was the right direction, but wondered if it actually was the way back. She wandered around, but she had no inner compass. _This is not good. _She grew concerned. She started jogging to cover more ground. Lux stopped when she ran out of breath. The sun was setting in the distance. It was growing darker by the minute. Fear rose in her throat. Things were bad. She sunk to the earth and leaned against a tree. _What if I can't find my way back? _Tears sprang to her eyes, but she wiped them away. _Courage, _she thought, _is fueled by fear. _She had no idea who had told her that, but it made total sense. Lux picked herself up and kept going.

The only idea she had was to keep heading in the same direction. There was no way of knowing how big the forest was. She had no idea how much time had passed. But as the last glint of sun faded and Lux was thrust into darkness, she knew it was time to give up. She was exhausted. The moon only cast so much light. The air was colder now and she hadn't brought a jacket. She was walking slower now, but in the dark she couldn't see the ground. A large stump tripped her up and Lux twisted her ankle as she fell. Instantly sharp pains shot through her leg. She pulled herself up, but each step she took was painful. She slid back against a tree, not knowing what to do. She buried her face in her knees, determined not to cry.

"Lux?" She heard a familiar voice in the distance. She saw a flash of light through the trees. "Lux!" The voice cried louder. It was Eric. She wiped her eyes, making sure they were dry.

"Over here," she said in a quiet voice. It was a struggle to talk louder. Suddenly he came into view.

"Lux," he breathed a sigh of relief, running over to her. "Thank God." He took her in his arms and held her tight. "Are you okay?" He asked, looking her over with the flashlight. Lux shook her head.

"I got lost," she stated dumbly.

"I know," Eric said, taking off his jacket. He wrapped it around Lux. "You've been missing for a while now."

"Are the others looking for me?" Eric shook his head.

"Not that I know of. Cate and Ryan got into an argument and more or less ruined dinner. So some of the chaperones had to go into town and get food. I wanted to see how you were doing, and that's when I realized you were gone." Lux thanked him for the jacket.

"How did you know where to find me?" Eric just shrugged.

"Can you walk?" He asked, helping Lux to her feet.

"I don't know. I twisted my ankle." She took a step and grimaced. He looked at her and frowned.

"We're not that far actually. I'll carry you." He reached for her, but she stopped him.

"No. Don't touch me. Look, I'm beyond grateful that you found me. But it doesn't change anything." He ran a hand through his hair.

"Lux-"

"Just give me your arm," she said. He obliged and she grabbed onto it. They started back to camp. She held onto him and hopped on her good foot. After a few minutes she had to rest.

"Lux, this is just ridiculous. Let me carry you." Lux shook her head.

"I'll be fine, just give me a minute." She leaned against a tree to catch her breath.

"How can I get you to forgive me?" He asked.

"It doesn't matter whether or not I forgive you. I won't be with someone who lies to me."

"I didn't lie, Lux. I was completely honest in telling you that I didn't want to discuss it. I thought that was better than lying to you. Better than making up some excuse." Lux winced from the pain in her ankle.

"So you won't tell me then..." her voice trailed off.

"Just trust me when I say it had absolutely nothing to do with you and I wish that I could have come. I wanted," he stepped closer to her and the tree. "To have coffee with you." He looked deeply into her eyes. He could tell that she wasn't angry anymore.

"I didn't realize. I shouldn't have pushed." She dropped her head against his chest. "It's not easy...the not knowing." Eric lifted her head with his hand and kissed her softly.

"I know," he brushed her hair out of her eyes. "I just...I...don't want to lose you." Lux wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"You won't," she whispered, allowing him to kiss her again.

"Will you let me carry you now?" Lux nodded.

"Only because hopping is exhausting." He grinned and picked up her small frame with ease. Lux held the flashlight in front of them. As he carried her through the woods she started to laugh.

"What? You don't like being my damsel in distress?" Lux stifled a snicker.

"I'm nobody's _damsel_, just an FYI. But if you picked up the speed and called me spider monkey, I could be your _Bella._"Lux could hear the sounds of camp. They were getting closer. "You better put me down," she sighed. As the camp came into view, Eric eased Lux to the ground.

"How does it feel?" Lux put her weight on it and winced slightly.

"It still hurts, but not as much." She saw that he was concerned. "I'll be fine."

"You sure?" Lux nodded. She looked around. Everyone was still back at camp. They were covered by the trees. Lux took Eric's hand.

"I'm glad we're not fighting anymore," she whispered sincerely. He led her over to some trees a bit further into the thick of the woods.

"Me too," he agreed. Lux saw him bite his bottom lip. It was dark out and she might have been mistaken, but she was sure that there was something he wasn't saying.

"What's up?" she asked, taking his other hand.

"I don't want to start another fight, but I've got to ask you something." She stood silent and waited for the question. "Why did you lie to me about the test? About not knowing you're grade? Because I spoke with Math-"

"It's nothing. We were arguing and I didn't want to tell you. That's all."

"But when Ryan asked you on the bus...why'd you lie to him?" Lux sighed in frustration. "Hey, I'm not trying to make you angry," he said, stroking her cheek. "But Math told me you got a 91. Lux that's amazing. I'm so proud of you." He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. "So why don't you want anyone to know?"

"I just wanted it to be mine for a bit," she said bringing her hands to her heart. "Because as soon as everyone knows, it'll be all _see I told you those sugary snacks were a good idea _and _don't forget my index cards_. It will end up being about them and not me." Eric braced himself against the tree with his left hand and covered Lux's hands with his right.

"If it helps, I know it was all you," he breathed into her ear. "Because you're beautiful...and sexy smart." Lux grinned.

"What the hell is sexy smart?" She asked.

"It's my version of crazy smart. Trust me, it's a compliment." Lux took it as a compliment.

"You know I thought I saw you when I was taking my test. It was weird."

"You probably did see me," he groaned, slightly embarrassed. Lux raised an eyebrow. "I was upset about our fight and nervous about your test...I spent most of that hour pacing up and down the hall."

"Really?" Lux was touched. It explained why she saw him almost immediately after she left the exam. She couldn't believe he cared so much. She accidentally shifted her weight and frowned in pain.

"You okay?" She just smiled and stared at him fondly. "What? Why are you staring at me?" She rolled her eyes.

"Because I want you to get the hint, doofus." He still looked confused. "To kiss me," she explained slowly, so he would understand. He leaned in until their faces touched.

"You don't have to ask," he whispered. "You think I don't want to kiss you? That I don't want _you _to kiss _me?" _Lux shrugged. "Who's the doofus now?" He grinned. His eyes suddenly grew dark and he leaned into her neck. "You're blood...it _sings _to me." Lux raised a hand to her mouth to stop herself from laughing.

"How do you..." Lux suppressed more laughter.

"I have a younger sister," he smiled. "What? Isn't it every girl's fantasy to be kissed by a tormented vampire?"

"Maybe everyone else...but not mine," Lux said, musing on the idea.

"You don't want to be my _Bella_?" Lux shook her head no, and kissed him lightly. This was something she could get used too. The subtle way their lips connected almost intrinsically, as if they were made to do this. His hand moved back to her heart and she knew he could feel it's rapid beating. "How about my _Eeyore_?" he asked softly, breaking the kiss. Lux nodded hazily and kissed him again, harder than before. It was right. The way his breathing matched hers. As his hands fell to her hips, she placed her hand on his chest. His heart was racing just as fast. Something inside her changed. Something that couldn't be reversed. As he deepened the kiss, she knew he felt the same shift.

Suddenly, they both heard a rustle in the woods. They quickly broke the kiss and looked at each other.

"Did you see someone?" she asked. Eric shook his head.

"Animal?" He wondered out loud.

"Probably," she said trying to reassure herself. "Maybe I should start hobbling back to camp," she said, a bit spooked. Eric nodded. He watched as she limped back to the others. He dry scrubbed his face with his hands. _What am I doing? _He thought to himself. But it was a stupid thought, because she still lingered on his lips. He decided not to question this anymore. To just go with it for as long as they could.

As Lux reached the group, Cate noticed she was limping. Lux looked around. No Tasha. No Baze or Emma either.

"Hey, are you alright? Why are you limping?" Cate rushed over and inspected her ankle.

"It's nothing, really. I just tripped. I probably just twisted it," Lux said trying to assure Cate that she was in fact going to survive.

"Are you sure? Maybe I should take you to a hospital or something," Cate said, biting her nail. She seemed to be thinking of the the fastest way to the nearest hospital.

"No. Cate, I'm fine. It's feeling better every minute. I'm just going to go to bed. Let's just wait until morning, okay?" When Cate nodded, Lux knew she had convinced her.

"Do you need help back to your tent?" Lux shook her head and gave Cate a quick hug. Cate frowned slightly as she watched Lux hobble away.

A few minutes later Lux reached the tent and entered it gratefully. Not too long ago she thought she was going to bite it in the middle of the forest. Reaching the tent was like arriving at some sort of mecca. Tasha was already in her sleeping bag, but she wasn't asleep.

"Hey, you are such a sight for sore eyes," Lux commented hobbling into the tent. "I tripped over this stump and-"

"I didn't know that you were reading _Twilight_ in English. Actually I didn't even know that you had Mr. Daniels' class," Tasha stated emotionless. It was obvious that Tasha was the the sound that they heard in the woods. Lux dropped onto her sleeping bag and turned to Tasha.

"Look, I tried to tell you. I've been trying to tell you, but you've been ignoring me all week."

"I'm sorry if I've been ignoring you and hanging with Jones, but that doesn't make hooking up with a teacher okay," Tasha said. Lux didn't know how to make her understand. She thought if anyone would get it, it would be Tasha.

"I'm not hooking up with him. It's...deeper than that. And I met him before I knew he was a teacher at school," Lux explained.

"This is probably our only chance to fit in. We finally have a chance. Don't you remember wanting that? It's all we ever wanted. Don't mess this up for us."

"Tash, I'm falling for him. He pushes me to be better. He challenges me, but at the same time he accepts who I am...he likes who I am. It's something I've never had before in a guy."

"But do you know what you're doing?" Tasha asked, concerned.

"Honestly?" Tasha nodded. "No. But I don't want to give it up," Lux admitted. "Does that make me selfish?"

"I don't know, maybe?" Tasha replied. "But at the same time I understand it. The not wanting to give it up. I do want you to be happy. I just wish it wasn't with someone who could potentially lose their job over this."

"Do you trust my judgement?" Tasha sighed and gave Lux a hug.

"You know I do. Just...be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt." Lux hugged her best friend back.

"I'll be careful. I promise."


	6. What If I Leave?

**A/N: So I know this is looong overdue! But it's finally here! Eternal thanks to EvelynMM for not only giving the much needed motivation to not drop this story, but helping me develop it even more. Without further ado...**

"It'll be fun. Besides everyone's going..."

"Are you trying to invoke the delicate art of peer pressure?" Lux, asked with a raised eyebrow, wondering if Tasha honestly thought Lux could be swayed like that. Tasha had just invited Lux to a frat party she had scored invites for. "Besides why don't you just go with Jones?" Tasha rolled her eyes and then draped her arm around Lux's shoulder.

"He's got family stuff this weekend. C'mon, Lux please," she begged, dragging her words. "Don't you want to go? We'll drink bad beer and watch the sorority sluts get crazy drunk. You used to love that." It was true. They always had a fun time making fun of pathetic sorority girls. It was conflicting. Of course she wanted to spend time with Tasha, but this was the first weekend she and Eric were really going to spend together and have an official type of date. Or at least Lux was hoping for a real date.

"It's not that I don't want to go...because I do. It's just that it's kind of short notice-"

"You already have illegal plans with a certain teacher," Tasha interrupted. Lux looked at Tasha strangely.

"Whoa, hold on. You said you were cool with all of this." Tasha took her arm off of Lux's shoulder. She leaned against the locker and sighed deeply.

"Maybe I lied. Maybe I've had some time to think about how messed up this is."

"Are you kidding me? The only thing even remotely wrong about this is our age and I don't think it's a big deal."

"He's not good for you. I mean for Christ's sake Lux, you met him in a bar..." It took all of Lux's strength not to slap Tasha across the face.

"Don't talk shit about stuff you don't know. About people you don't know. Because you _don't _know him Tasha."

"Yeah? Well you don't really know him either." Tasha shook her head and walked away from the conversation. Lux turned on her heel and headed in the opposite direction. Both were happy to be released from the conversation. Lux was almost grateful that Tasha stomped off before she said something she really couldn't take back. _Ughhh! _Lux silently screamed in her head. She was furious with Tasha. Fortunately enough, she had a free period right now and it was study time with Eric.

As she walked into a vacant classroom and saw him sitting at the desk, she wondered if her heart would ever not skip a beat when she saw him. If she would ever be able to resist smiling in return when he grinned at her. Then she wondered how long before _he_ wouldn't be excited when she walked into a room. That thought, she pushed deep down. Far enough away where it wouldn't bother her for a while.

"I'd say good morning, but you looked pissed and I don't want to provoke you," he greeted her, trying to hide his smirk. Lux rolled her eyes and plopped down into one of the desks in the first row. "What happened, Eeyore?" Eric asked softly.

"Minor squabble with Tasha. No biggie." Lux picked at the nail polish on her thumb. Because it was a big deal. Tasha was her best friend. She wanted more than anything for her best friend to at least approve of her boyfriend. "What's that?" Lux nodded towards the papers Eric was holding, trying to change the subject.

"Just a certain test. You may remember it vaguely. English midterm?"

"Shut up," Lux laughed. It was only the biggest exam she had encountered yet. Eric stood from the chair and perched against the front of the desk, in subtle attempt to get closer to Lux.

"You know how proud I am of you, right?"

"Yeah?" Lux asked, looking up at him.

"Oh, yeah," he replied and kicked her foot slightly with his. "I like your shoes." He remarked, looking down at her purple converse sneakers.

"Thanks," she replied, slightly cheered. "Too bad you have wear such professorial kicks." He nodded in agreement. "So you're proud, huh?" Lux asked again. He smiled and nodded his head, yes. "How proud?" she asked.

"Very. Why?" Eric wondered where this was leading.

"Oh nothing, I don't know. Proud enough to take me on a real date?" She asked loftily as if it didn't matter to her either way.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked.

"Oh you know. Skydiving, matching tattoos...you know a normal date."

"I could be down with matching tattoos...probably not skydiving though. There's always that pesky risk of death and all..." Lux was elated. They had a date.

"Alright, Friday night around-"

"I can't do Friday," Eric interjected, moving quickly back to his chair behind the desk.

"That's fine, how about Saturday?" Eric sighed. What was he supposed to say? He could't just give her some lame excuse. It wouldn't be true. With everything going on in his life, it was hard keeping the lies to a minimum. But he didn't want to lie to her. He just couldn't tell her the truth. It wasn't her burden to share by any means. It was better to keep her distant.

"Actually I can't do this weekend. I'm sorry I didn't realize you were talking about this weekend." He seemed to be repeating himself. "But next week absolut-"

"Fine. Whatever." Lux said, cutting him off. She was upset, but she didn't want to let on just how miserable this made her. It took all of her willpower not to outright ask him what he was so busy with that he couldn't go out on a date with her. Unless he was embarrassed of her. Or too scared to be in public with her. But they could go somewhere else. It was extremely aggravating not to know. _It's never easy. It's never going to be easy. _

"Hey, It's not fine," Eric came back around and sat in the desk next to Lux. He took her hand gently. "Why don't we have coffee after school at the place we were supposed to meet that time? We can plan what we want to do on our date next week."

"You won't bail on coffee?" She asked, only slightly appeased. Eric shook his head. "Will you tell me what you're doing this weekend?" But she knew by his face that he would not tell her. She changed the topic back to coffee. He promised to meet her there after school. As Lux walked out of the classroom, she wasn't sure what to think. She was happy for coffee, but couldn't shake the feeling that he was trying to make her forget about this weekend. She was hurt that he won't tell her what's going on. _He knows so much about me. About my past. _Did he think she couldn't be trusted? Or did he really have something to hide?

Later that day Lux watched a couple sitting at the table across the room in the small coffee shop. She noticed the way the girl smiled at the right times. The way he took her hand. A slight pang of jealously went through her. _It must be nice, _Lux thought. But it took her totally off guard. Because she was happy. Happy with Eric. What did she have to be jealous of? As Lux flipped through her notebook, she couldn't resist sneaking another peek at the adoring couple. The two were deep in conversation. The girl reached over and wiped something off the man's lip and then started laughing.

"Sugar?"

It was obvious that the couple were in love. Was that why she was jealous? It couldn't be the love issue.

"Do you want sugar?"

She knew both her and Eric were well on their way to falling hard for each other. _So why? _Lux frowned not knowing the origins of such jealous frustration. She didn't know where to put these feelings.

"Lux," Eric said, snapping his fingers lightly in her face. "Do. You. Want. Sugar?" Lux's eyes fluttered, looking up at the man holding her coffee.

"Sorry," she replied, trying to shake her thoughts away. "No. No sugar. Just milk." She took the coffee and Eric sat down.

"Where were you just then?" He asked, taking a sip of his coffee. Lux was still gazing over at the couple across the room. Their foreheads were touching. No one would bother them. They had created some sort of invisible fortress that no one would be able to penetrate. The fact was, that Lux could only bear to look at them for so long. Slowly Eric's question registered with her. She broke her line of sight and smiled at him.

"Nowhere. I'm right here." She wondered how convincing that sounded. They were finally having coffee at the place Lux had suggested a week ago. But it was funny. When Lux was with Bug, they had every single opportunity to have coffee and just be with each other, yet they never did. Lux quickly glanced back at the couple. They were kissing intimately. She felt the jealous pangs again. "God, I'm sorry," she apologized, "I'm kind of in my head, I guess."

"Are you alright?"

"I'll be better if you don't ask me that question," she smiled sheepishly. He took a sip of his coffee.

"I'm sorry, I bet you've been hearing that a lot lately. What if I ask you another question? Something not so inquisitive to to your emotional wellbeing?"

"Like what?" She asked hesitantly.

"Like what where we should go next week?" Lux leaned back in her chair and looked at him. She gazed deeply into his eyes. Having such intense emotions for each other seemed irrational when they hadn't even been on a proper date. She had to imagine what he would do if they could be public about their relationship. She felt magnetically attracted to the couple across the room. This time she noticed the man stroking her cheek and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Lux couldn't stand it. Maybe because it felt like it had been years since she had kissed Eric. Maybe because she didn't know when they would kiss again. Maybe because they couldn't just _be _together. In the same room the way that couple could. This was a load of crap.

"Where do you want to go?" She asked in a different tone than before.

"I don't know, do you want to do traditional or-"

"Because it'll be a school night and I have curfew. That's kind of why this weekend was better for me. But I mean I understand that it's not good for you," she said in a slightly sarcastic voice. Eric just looked at her. "And if you think about it, we have to go somewhere where we won't be noticed. So geographically speaking, we'd need more time to get to a location that's further away. And what with both of us having to be at school early in the morning...I just don't really see how it'll work. So we should probably just put this all on hold for the moment." Lux pushed her coffee away. _How dare he think coffee would appease me? _

"Lux," Eric didn't know what else to say. She wasn't in the place to hear what he had to say. He knew this was his fault in some sense, but there was something else going on as well. Something happened. He looked around the room, trying to figure out what was bothering her. He almost didn't notice Lux putting on her jacket. "Where are you going?"

"I forgot, I have plans with Tasha." And it wasn't a lie because Lux was heading straight to Tasha's apartment after this. Suddenly the party sounded like a fabulous idea. Because she was pissed. Slightly with Eric. Mostly with their situation.

"I thought you were fighting with her. Isn't that what you said this morning?" Eric asked.

"Like I said before, it wasn't really anything. We just have plans, so I should go."

"What kind of plans?" Eric asked innocently before realizing how stupid that was. Lux was pulling her hat out of her purse and stopped abruptly.

"Plans that don't involve you. Kind of like your plans for the weekend." Eric bit his tongue. He noted the tone in her voice. It was razor sharp and he was treading on some very thin ice. But at the same time, just because she was in the dark, doesn't mean he was doing something wrong.

"Just so you know, my plans aren't like that. They're not fun and I'd rather be with you," he replied in a slightly annoyed tone.

"And just so _you_ know, I'd be more likely to believe you if you would just tell me what they are. Because you know how I feel about secrets."

"Lux I'm sorry that you don't like secrets, and I understand why. Really I do, but there are some things that are going to take time for me to share with you."

"You don't get it. I'm left to feel like I've done something wrong and even if you say that it's not true, I've got nothing else to prove it."

"But I've already told you that you haven't done anything wrong."

"It doesn't matter, I still feel like..."

"Like what?"

"Just forget it, I've got to go." Eric grabbed her arm.

"Don't just walk away. When it gets rough, show me that you'll stay."

"Give me a reason to stay, and I might surprise you." Lux put on her hat and walked out of the coffee shop. She left with a bitter taste in her mouth and it wasn't the coffee. Lux stopped home before going to Tasha's just to check in with Cate.

"Is it cool if I go out with Tasha tonight and stay over at her place?" Lux asked Cate, grabbing an apple from the fridge.

"Isn't it just typical?"

"Is what typical?" Lux had no clue what Cate was referring too.

"Guys. Guys are just typical. And they're just so-"

"Secretive? Stupid?" Lux interjected, having something to say on this topic.

"Yes!" Cate said loudly, raising her arms in the air in mild desperation. "Lux, you get it. Why can't he?" The he to who she was referring to must be Ryan, Lux thought.

"What did he do?"

"He's ignoring me possibly. Or just keeping more secrets. That's the thing Lux. No relationship can last if it's built on a foundation of lies." Lux winced. Did she and Eric have a foundation like that? Sure he had some secrets but then again, so did she. Although he was the one currently and deliberately keeping them hidden.

"But Cate, you and Ryan-your foundation isn't entirely formed on lies...right?"

"I don't know," Cate shrugged and looked at her phone again. "Maybe not, but all it takes is one secret." Lux didn't really want to keep talking about this. She was starting to hyperventilate a bit. Now she regretted leaving in such a huff. She should have made it more clear that she could handle whatever it was he had to tell.

"So it's cool if I go to Tasha's? I mean if you need me..."

"No it's fine. Have a good time and just keep your cell on, okay?" Lux nodded and gave Cate a hug.

"You and Ryan," she whispered into her ear, "you're going to be more than fine in the end."

"Thank you, Lux." Cate smoothed back a piece of Lux's hair and smiled. "Go have fun." Lux headed over to Tasha's on foot and decided to clear the air with Eric over the phone. She dialed _Minnesota _and waited for someone to pick up. She really didn't expect a female voice to answer though.

"Hello?" A delicate voice answered. Lux was totally taken off guard.

"Umm hi?" Lux had no idea what to say. "Is Eric there?"

"Oh, no, not at the moment. Can I take a message or something?" Lux was seeing little red dots in front of her eyes as she walked down the street. _These are his plans? Being with a girl? _

"Who is this?" Lux asked with some not so subtle hostility.

"Sarah, why? Who is this? Oh you know what? I think he's coming back if you want to-" But Lux had hung up the phone.

"Hey, what are you doing with my cell?" Eric asked, sitting down at the table.

"Who's Eeyore?" The girl asked.

"She called?" A faint gleam of hope rose in his chest. Maybe he hadn't screwed everything up after all. "Give me my phone," he demanded as she held it out of reach. He needed to call Lux back.

"She sure sounds awful young. Freshman in college?" Eric's heart dropped.

"You answered?" This was officially the end. "Seriously, Sarah. You're always getting into my business. This," he said snatching his phone back, "is not your phone. Do not answer it." He started dialing Lux, but Sarah stopped him.

"It can wait until after. We've got to get through this first." A tall lawyer sat down across from them. He handed them each a packet of papers.

"These are the documents that were discussed over the phone. Please take your time and thoroughly familiarize yourself with them." Sarah hastily flipped to the last page and signed her name at the bottom and dated it with a time stamp. She passed them back to the lawyer and looked at Eric, telling him to hurry up.

"C'mon, just sign them Eric. It's not life or death." Eric's head shot up. He couldn't believe she just said that.

"Actually, it is. What's your problem these days?" She shook her head and leaned back into the chair.

"My problem is the same as yours, we're just handling it differently."

"Well you're acting like a heartless bitch, you know that right?"

"Ooh them's fightin' words, brother. I forgot you're such a-"

"Just shut the hell up, okay?" Eric interrupted, while signing the papers. He looked at the lawyer. "Will you tell him to please call? Or to at least answer?" The lawyer nodded.

"I'll pass it along, but you know-"

"Yeah, I know. It won't matter. Just do it anyway." He looked at Sarah and rolled his eyes, seeing what she had become lately. "We function oh so very well," he said sarcastically before walking out of the lawyer's office. Sarah ran along behind him.

"So what are we doing tonight?"

"Nothing. Look you need a place to crash for the night, that's fine. But just leave me alone." He dialed Lux's number and wasn't surprised when she didn't answer. _Hey you've reached Lux, leave something witty after the beep. _"Hey it's me. If you get this, call me back okay? Anytime I don't care." He flipped his phone closed and sighed. It was official. Life sucked. Hard.

~.*...*.~

Lux and Tasha were just arriving to the party when her cell phone rang.

"You gonna answer that?" Tasha asked Lux. Lux shook her head.

"Nope. It's you and me tonight." Lux handed Tasha her cell phone and asked her to hold onto it. She didn't want to make the mistake of actually answering the phone if he tried to call again. She was just about to walk in, when Tasha stopped her.

"Thanks...for you know...changing your mind. I'm sorry about earlier." Lux shook her head.

"It's cool. I'm sorry if you feel like I haven't been making time for your lately." She gave Tasha a quick hug. "But at some point you're going to have to make nice with Eric._" Even if he is cheating on me. _Lux couldn't dwell on it. There was probably an explanation. _Please God, let there be an explanation. _The two walked into the party and immediately smiled.

"Sorority slut, 3 o'clock," Tasha whispered into Lux's ear pointing towards a girl who had just taken of her panties. Lux started laughing and covered her eyes in mock disgust.

"You ladies look like you could use a drink," A tall muscled man said from behind. The two turned around.

"No thanks, we're fine." Tasha answered for the both of them, pulling on Lux's arm. They weaved their way through the drunks and headed towards the back hallway of the dorm.

"What do you want to do?" Lux asked. Tasha shrugged.

"Well I've gotta pee, so I'll find you after, okay?" Lux nodded. Tasha walked in the opposite direction towards the long line of people waiting for one of the few bathrooms. Lux wandered down the hall, following the sound of The Cure coming from one of the dorm rooms. She paused at the entrance and just listened for a moment.

Lux thought back to just a few months ago. Back when she was still with Bug. Before she met Eric. Things were good. Things were fine. She was more or less happy with him. Except she wasn't. What she felt for Eric was so different. It was stronger. Even now, just thinking of him, even with the possibility that he's currently with another woman, her heart still raced for him. She raised a hand to her heart and pressed it into the skin to better feel it's erratic beating. _This heart is going to be my downfall. _It seemed to be her one enormous weakness. To love with all of her heart. No matter how many times she was shot down, no matter how many times she was beaten down by the man- she managed picked herself up and try again. _Maybe it's not a weakness... _

"You just gonna stand there all night?" Lux's train of thought was broken by a quiet voice coming from the music-filled room.

"Sorry," Lux muttered, turning to walk away.

"Not many girls your age listen to this kind of music," The man got off his bed and walked towards the door.

"My age?"

"Oh c'mon, you've got freshman written all over your face. You're probably in a sorority." Lux gasped, pretending to be offended.

"Not highly likely," Lux stated as she started walking away. The man grabbed her shoulder lightly. "Come in. I've got London Calling on Vinyl..." Lux's ears perked up.

"Really? That's pretty sweet. All right, I'm in." She stepped into the small room and the man closed the door behind her.

"Yeah, it's pretty awesome. I've got a pretty nice collection-although..."

"What?" Lux asked, thumbing through his collection.

"No one seems to care about my music." The man sounded defeated. Lux couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"I don't know about other people, but I love this. You've got everything." Lux grabbed London Calling and passed it to him to put on.

"You know, I'm named after him," he said pointing to the lead singer of the Clash."

"Really? You don't look like a John." He was actually kind of awkward looking, but in an adorable sort of way. He wasn't very tall. Shorter than Eric. The man shook his head.

"After his stage name." Lux wrinkled her forehead.

"You definitely don't look like a Joe either." He shook his head again.

"Strummer. The rents gave me his last name." Lux nodded. He definitely looked like a Strummer. He put on the album and headed over to his bed. "You know I hate parties like these. Everyone just acts so stupid. He motioned for her to sit down. "I didn't even offer you a drink," he hopped up and grabbed a couple of cups. Granted I don't have the best hooch, but it's better than what's out there, that's for sure."

"Oh don't worry about it, I'm fine," Lux said.

"It's no problem just give me a sec to find the bottle," he smiled at her. He disappeared for quick second and returned with the glasses filled. "Sorry I only have the typical red plastic cups."

"It's more than fine," Lux smiled. They faux clinked their plastic cups and Lux took a small sip. She coughed slightly.

"Smooth," she lied with a laugh. Strummer smiled deeply. Lux looked around his room. It seemed surprisingly clean for being a college boy's living space. A picture of Strummer standing next to what Lux deemed to be a girlfriend lay on the bedside table. Lux picked it up, taking another small sip of the flammable liquid. "Girlfriend?" Strummer snatched the picture harshly out of her friend.

"Ex," he said taking a big gulp of his whiskey. Lux frowned.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know...I shouldn't..."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." He raised his cup. "Big gulp if you have an ex," he cheered. Lux didn't really want to take another drink-the whiskey was God awful, but she felt bad for the man so she smiled and took a big swig. _To Bug, _she thought to herself. The alcohol started taking effect and she swooned as the soft buzz took over her. Strummed looked at her strangely. Like he was analyzing her.

"What? Why aryou staring?" Her words started to slur.

"No reason," he smirked, inching towards her on the bed. Lux raised a hand in feeble protest.

"Sorry, I've boyfriend..." Lux's head lolled from side to side. Everything was spinning. She couldn't figure out why. Strummer hovered over her and pushed her into the mattress. "No," Lux whispered, trying to say something louder. "Whatdid you do? Help," Lux tried to move away from Strummer, but her limbs were useless.

Strummer reached under her shirt and snaked his hand across her stomach. He muttered something, but she couldn't understand what he said. Her eyes grew heavy and as his face came to hers, she drifted into unconsciousness.

*.~~.*

Tasha waited in line for what seemed like hours just to use the bathroom. After washing her hands, she quested for Lux. Not finding her, she randomly asked a couple of people if they had seen her. Unfortunately for her, everyone was too shit faced to know anything. Tasha was starting to worry as she wandered around the building searching for Lux.

"Lux," she called out, not really expecting an answer. She passed a couple of people leaning against the wall. "Hey have you seen my friend? She's about this tall," Tasha motioned Lux's height with her hand. "Blonde hair, wearing a knitted hat and leather jacket?" The boy just laughed. Tasha noticed the blood shot eyes. She turned to the girl standing next to him. "Have you seen her?"

"She's probably with Strummer," she replied faking a guitar riff with her hands.

"Who's Strummer?" Tasha was growing frantic. She had been searching for Lux for almost half an hour. Who knows what could have happened.

"He's the hookup baby," The girl smiled and started kissing the boy next to her. "He's the man." Tasha shook her head and walked away. She didn't even know what the hell a Strummer was. Presumably a person, but Tasha had no way of knowing. Suddenly Tasha's phone vibrated in her pocket.

"Thank God," she breathed a sigh of relief, expecting it to be Lux. She quickly answered the phone without checking the caller ID. "Lux? Thank God. I was so worried."

"Tasha? No it's Eric. Why do you have Lux's cell?" Tasha's heart plummeted into her stomach. It wasn't Lux. Tasha didn't know what to do.

"Lux gave it to me when we got here." Tasha didn't know how much he knew. She didn't know how much information to give away.

"Got where? What the hell is going on? Is Lux okay?" Eric's voice sounded slightly stressed. He was genuinely concerned. Tasha didn't trust Eric, but he was all she had. There was no way she could tell Cate and Baze what was going on without getting Lux in trouble. Tasha headed down the small hallway and stopped at the door.

"We're at this party at Portland State. Lux and I..."

"Tasha, please, what happened?" Eric asked, putting on his jacket and reaching for his keys, not knowing where he was headed.

"We got separated and now I can't find her," Tasha crouched down into the corner and put her head in her lap. "I think she's with this Strummer person, but I don't know what that means and the person was stoned so I don't even know if they knew what they were talking about. I just don't know what to do." Tasha was breathing fast.

"Hey, it's going to be alright. Tasha, take a deep breathe okay?" Tasha nodded and inhaled. "Listen, I'm on my way, where are you exactly?" She told him where she was and that she'd meet him out front. "Just keep looking for her and then come meet me, okay? I should be there in like 15 minutes."

"Okay," Tasha answered and then closed the phone. She picked herself off the floor and continued to look for Lux. She was headed back towards the main party when she saw a girl who didn't look completely drunk. Tasha stopped and asked her who Strummer was.

"The guy who almost got kicked out?" Tasha shook her head, not knowing what she was talking about.

"For what?" The girl shrugged.

"My roommate told me he beat up his girlfriend and she had to be admitted over at St. Mary's. But my boyfriend said he was just sent to detox. So I don't know really. Sorry." Tasha prayed that Lux was not with this guy. Tasha rushed towards the front door as she saw Eric entering.

"Hey you find out anything?" Tasha shook her head.

"Just that he's possibly some guy who almost got kicked out. No one knows anything. They're all too drunk or too stoned." Tasha caught some guys arm and asked him the same question about Strummer. The guy drunkenly told her to get laid and started to walk away. Tasha groaned. Then, out of nowhere the guy was pushed against the wall.

"She asked you a question you piece of shit. Now who is Strummer and what room is he in?" Eric's grip on the man's shirt was firm. He wasn't letting go. The guy's eyes went wide. He'd obviously never been threatened in this manner before.

"Down the hall, 4th on the right I think." Eric released his grip on the man and took Tasha's hand. The two weaved through the crowd and made their way down the hall.

"It's gotta be this one," Tasha pointed out, counting the number of doors. There was no sign to indicate who the room belonged too, so they both started pounding on the door. After a minute, someone opened it slightly.

"What the fuck? Leave me alone, man," Strummer said quietly. Tasha dropped to her knees and looked through the narrow opening. She saw what she thought was Lux's jacket on the floor.

"It's her. That's her jacket!" Tasha tried to push the door open, but the man wouldn't budge.

"Hey, back off. It's just me and my girlfriend. Get the hell outta here." Eric pushed against the door with his shoulder. He put all of his weight into the thrust and forced it open. They both saw Lux lying on the bed wearing only a bra and her pants. Tasha quickly went over to her best friend and grabbed the tank top cast aside. She pulled it over Lux's head and back onto her body.

Eric took one look at Lux and then slammed Strummer into the door of his closet.

"What did you give her?" He yelled, enraged. Strummer nonchalantly shrugged.

"Just something to make her more...agreeable." Eric's fist crashed into Strummer's face. Tasha briefly looked up after hearing the sound of Strummer's jawbone crunching. Strummer fell to the floor wincing in pain. Eric heaved him back up and hit him again. Eric couldn't speak. He hit Strummer again, and dropped him on the floor. Satisfied that he had dealt some serious damage, Eric checked to see how Lux was.

"She's still unconscious," Tasha said gravely, picking up on Eric's thought. Scrubbing a hand through his hair, Eric rummaged through Stummer's things until he found an almost empty bottle of Rohypnol. Eric knew it was the sedative that Strummer most likely used to drug Lux.

"We should take her to a hospital just to be safe," Eric commented, placing the bottle on top of the man's dresser.

"We can't!" Tasha cried, clutching Lux's sedated body. "She'll be in so much trouble."

"But if this," Eric picked up the bottle for emphasis, "isn't Rohypnol, Lux could be in serious danger." Strummer stirred on the floor. Tasha went over to him and shook him, trying to get him back to his senses.

"What did you give her?" The man grunted. "What did you give her!" She yelled loudly.

"Jus' Rohypnol," The guy slurred slouching against the wall of his room. Eric went over to Lux, and picked up her limp body. He turned to Tasha.

"You...you found her with her pants...on or off?" The words came out like vomit. He felt sick to his stomach having to ask if his girlfriend was raped.

"On. Definitely on." Tasha rushed over to Lux. "They were on," she assured Eric. Eric turned to Strummer. _Lucky for you. _Eric put Lux back on the bed and went out into the hallway. He returned a minute later with the number for campus security. Strummer feebly protested at Eric made the phone call to alert them of a date rapist on campus in possession of alcohol and Rohypnol.

"We'll take her back to your place, that way when she wakes up, she'll be more comfortable. We'll have to monitor her all night. If anything, and Tasha I do mean anything-seems out of the ordinary, we take her straight to the hospital. Okay?" Tasha bobbed her head in agreement. Eric effortlessly picked up Lux and carried her out to his truck. They ignored the looks as they carried Lux through the parking lot. He placed her in his truck and planted a chaste kiss on her forehead. Tasha climbed in and sat next to Lux. It was a quiet drive back to Tasha's.

After getting Lux settled into Tasha's bed, Eric went into the living room and sat down. He was exhausted. He leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes, trying to erase the images of Lux collapsed on that creep's bed. Tasha brought him a cup of tea, hoping it would help him. She sat down on the coffee table across from the couch and put her hands in her lap.

"You were...really awesome tonight. Thank you." Eric's eyes peeked open. A compliment? From Tasha? His eyebrow arched.

"Really?" Tasha rolled her eyes, but managed to smile slightly.

"Yeah. I mean...I didn't know what to do and you were calm and collected." Tasha took a sip of her own tea. "Lux is really lucky to have you. I misjudged you before. And I'm sorry for that." Eric shook his head, and drank from his cup gratefully.

"No apology necessary. We're not exactly the most conventional couple, and I can understand why you'd be concerned for her." They both sat in silence for a while before Eric spoke again. "Just so you know. I'm the lucky one." Tasha smiled. "I never thought I'd fall so hard for her. She just she...has this way of making every bad thing seem...I don't know-"

"Not so bad?" Tasha interjected. Eric nodded, agreeing with her. "Yeah, I know what you mean. We've been best friends for years so I know exactly what you mean." Eric smiled and set his mug down. He yawned and stretched his arms about his head. He went to go check on Lux who seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

"It's getting late...or early. I should probably head home. On the chance that when she wakes up she doesn't really want to see me." He had almost forgot that they weren't quite speaking. Or Lux wasn't speaking to him. It seemed so long ago. "Tasha, she's probably not going to remember what happened last night..."

"Don't worry about it. Just get home safely okay? I tell Lux to call you later." Eric nodded and reached for his jacket. Tasha walked him to the door and they said their goodbyes. Just as he was leaving, she stopped him.

"Do you love her?"

What a question to ask. It was the only thing he had been thinking about lately, actually. More for the reason that he couldn't believe how deeply he was falling for this girl. Her smile, her frown. It all drew him deeper. It was a simple answer really. It didn't take much thinking about.

"Yes. I do," he answered in a voice not louder than a whisper. He rubbed a hand over his face. "I really do."

"Have you told her yet?" Eric shook his head. The timing was completely wrong. They hadn't even been on an official date. You can't fall in love with someone before you start to even date them. It made no sense. It made no sense at all. But at the same time, nothing was clearer to him that how he felt about Lux.

"It's not the right time. We haven't even..."

"Good. You're right to wait. Just promise me something." Eric lifted his head. "You'll tell her first. She deserves to be told first. Okay?" It was obvious that Tasha held Lux's wellbeing very close to her heart. Eric nodded. It would be a while before he felt comfortable expressing this to Lux anyhow. He wasn't about to rush anything and ruin everything by scaring her away.

~.**.~

Lux's eyes opened slowly and then closed again. Her eyelids were heavy. There was a warm cloud of haze surrounding her. It was as if something weighted rested on her head. Slowly she arose into a state of consciousness. When she felt slightly less groggy she opened her eyes. From the surroundings she assumed that it was Tasha's apartment.

"Tash?" Lux whispered, coughing slightly. In an instant, Tasha was at Lux's side.

"Hey, oh...hey," Tasha embraced her best friend and sent a silent prayer of thanks to the universe. Lux rubbed her head.

"What happened?" Tasha sat back down.

"Do you remember anything?"

"No, just going to that party. I don't even really remember that." As soon as the word _party _left her lips, her stomach turned over. Lux didn't remember what had happened the night before, but she could assume.

Tasha filled in all of the missing details. Lux was ashamed. Just of the whole situation...combined with the fact that she didn't remember anything...she felt sick to her stomach.

"But you're okay. That's the most important thing. And if it makes you feel any better, I love Mr. Daniels...Eric. He's totally amazing." Lux smiled. Although it wasn't the way she wanted a friendship to form between the two, she would take what she could get.

Tasha and Lux had breakfast and watched some TV before Lux felt well enough to head home.

"Do you want me to call Baze to come get you?" Lux shook her head.

"I need the fresh air, you know? Clear my head and such. It's all still a little foggy." Lux put on her jacket and gave Tasha a big hug. "Thank you. Beyond thanks...I...I can't imagine what I'd do without you." Tasha smiled into Lux's embrace.

Lux headed up the street in the opposite direction of Baze's. She hooked a left and walked up the hill. When she reached his building, she climbed the set of stairs and made her way to his door. _Prepare yourself. _Lux realized that despite the events of yesterday night, she still might knock on the door and have it opened by another woman. Lux took a deep breath. If that was the case, she would just thank him for what he did last night. Thank him for...saving her and walk away from it all. _You can just walk away. No need to be angry. _Her stomach sank at the thought of him with another woman. She wouldn't be angry. She refused to be bitter. Sadness was the only emotion penetrating her barriers. Two deep breathes later she knocked softly on the door. It was still early and she wasn't sure he was even out of bed. It was only 6 in the morning. _He could be in bed...with her..._Lux couldn't handle this. She took a step back to leave, when the door opened.

Eric stood in front of her wearing nothing but a pair of sweat pants. Lux took a step closer to the door and studied him intently. There were dark bags under his eyes. It was obvious that he hadn't slept. She inched closer and ran a finger over the dark circles. Without words, Eric clasped her hand to his face with his. He pulled her into the small living room and closed the door behind them. He removed her hand and kissed it gently. He noticed Lux's eyes glistening with tears and wiped them away with his thumb. She looked around the room. Searching really...and Eric knew that she was looking for the woman that answered the phone. Lux's eyes settled on the closed door of his bedroom. Still holding her, he felt all of her muscles tense. Wanting to rid her of any idea that there was another woman, he kissed her deeply and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled into his neck. He carried her into his bedroom and set her on his bed.

"Sister," was the one word response he gave Lux. That was the woman who had answered the phone. "Sister," he repeated assuringly. The twisted sheets and cast off comforter told Lux that Eric had not gotten a moment of rest. She smiled slightly knowing that here was no woman hidden in the room. She trusted his answer. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry but right now was not a time for words. It was time for silent healing. For making up and letting him know how grateful she was for having him. Climbing into his lap, she grabbed his hand and brought it to her heart.

Eric took his free hand and cradled Lux's head. Lux nodded that it was okay. That she was okay. That nothing had changed. Besides the fact that now, she was head over heels for him. He kissed her again, savoring the sweet taste of her lips. As her hands rested on his hips, his kisses intensified and his hands roamed across her body. She opened her mouth as his tongue glided in. Relaxing into his touch and his caresses, she thumbed soft circles on his hips.

No words. Not needed. Just the sound of them. This was something Lux could get used too. No restraints. No boundaries created by the classroom. Just the two of them. She pushed him against the headboard and ground her hips into his lap. His head fell back against the wall and he looked towards the ceiling while Lux gyrated against him, causing him to lose all thought. He forced his head forward and licked along her chest. She reached to take off her tank, but he stopped her. He ran his hands under the thin shirt and across her lower back. She pushed into his hands, encouraging him to lift the shirt off. He grinned, knowing he was driving her to the brink. He leaned in and planted soft kisses along her chest. He felt her heart beat wantonly under the shirt. Without hesitating, he peeled the shirt off. Giving her a look of pure wanting, he reached up and caressed her breasts. Lux brought her hand up to his chest. She savored his touch and clawed gently against his skin.

That was when she noticed. At that moment. Dark purple marks around her wrists. As if someone had pinned her down...Lux jumped back and brought both wrists together. Both had dark bruises that looked like hands squeezing too tightly. She gasped at the realization that this guy had physically attacked her. Tasha's explanation had been so gentle. She should have known that there was more. The tears poured forth. She reached for her shirt and pulled it back on. She couldn't even look at Eric. She was so ashamed. She couldn't remember. She tried, but the harder she focused, the faster it all slipped away. She stood from the bed and wiped her eyes clear of any remaining tears.

"I've, uh gotta go," Lux said in a hoarse whisper. She searched for her jacket. When she found it she grabbed it and walked out of the bedroom. Eric jumped up and ran after her. He stopped her at the door.

"No." Lux refused to look at him.

"Eric, get out of my way." Lux said angrily, trying to push past him. But Eric braced the door closed.

"I am not letting you leave. Lux you always leave. Stay here and deal with what happened."

"Let me leave," she seethed through her teeth. She pushed against him, but he stopped her and shook his head.

"I'm not going to let you leave every time you get upset." Eric lifted her chin. "How will I be able to hold onto you?" Lux closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him. Not wanting him to see her like this.

"I...You can't see me like this." Lux turned away from him, wishing he'd just let her go. Eric saw her shoulders shake.

"Hey," Eric whispered softly, pulling her down into his lap on the floor in front of the door. Lux shook her head and struggled against him. Eric embraced her and ran small circles against her back. "You're okay," he breathed against her ear. She let out a strangled sob and he felt her chest heave against his. "Baby...baby, you're okay. Nothing else matters." He kissed the top of her head and held her closer. "Nothing else matters." Lux curled into him and wept.

"I...I don't remember," she cried, trying to hide her face from him. Eric's heart broke. He drew her into his chest, letting her know that he would be her solid ground.

"I'm here. Baby, I'm right here." He drew her in as close as she would let him and whispered to her. "I'm not going anywhere."


End file.
